IT'S INTERNATIONAL STAND UP TO BULLYING DAY 🥺

While I think today's random occasion has its heart in the right place, this seems like one of those problems that just isn't going anywhere.*

* See: story this week about non-binary teen Nex Benedict who died after being assaulted by their classmates in a high school restroom.

Sometimes people end up the way you'd expect, though. I googled my middle school bully several years ago and the only thing that came up was her mugshot.

This girl had the build of a linebacker even in the 7th grade and towered over me, tripping me in the hall and doing her best to try to make me miserable. I was entirely too small to do any standing up to her at the time, but it sounds like karma caught up to her eventually. If only karma were on a tighter timeline.

I hope whichever bullies made your life difficult as a kid are having the day they deserve now. 

Sometimes it's the only thought, Taylor.

GIF via Taylor Swift

*****

While you're waiting for your new Boredwalk gear to arrive you can also treat your earholes to the latest episode of the Boredwalk Podcast!

This week Tess and I lamented the soggy L.A. weather reflecting the generally cursed vibe of 2024 thus far. Turns out targeted social media ads and organic content are no help in this regard! Just an endless doom scroll of posts about war-torn Gaza and Ukraine, endangered & neglected animals, and environmental catastrophe. What fun!

This discussion of the present dystopia led to us pondering whether or not we are actually in Hell, and curiosity as to what each of us did in our past lives to warrant such torment.

Fittingly, Tess lightened the mood with a 5-star review of Boredwalk's darkly humorous dystopian activity book Adventures in the Abyss. If you can't leave the hellscape, you may as well laugh at it, right?

Things have been mercifully subdued on the internet troll front, but that is largely to do with social media platform shenanigans on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok, which I explain in an exasperated but (hopefully) amusing fashion.

Moving along, Tess read fan responses to our recent Question of the Day "What life experience drastically changed your thinking on something?" and she and I share our own answers. Strap in, because we got deep!

We wrapped things up by trading questions & answers from the Venting and Joy editions of the Delve Deck! First we respond to the query "What is your least favorite home decor trend?" and then close things out with "What have you watched recently that you can't stop recommending?" 

Get in on the action and listen to the hilarity on the platform of your choice!

*****

Here are a few historical tidbits and famous birthdays to kick off your weekend:

• Scientists announced the first successful cloning of an animal on this day in 1997 (this animal is referenced in our 1990s activity book, which you should definitely get if you don't have it yet and want to get nostalgic about the 1990s).

• The Tootsie Roll was introduced on this day in 1896. Thank goodness better candy options have come along since!

Birthday shoutouts for composer George Frideric Handel (1685), activist W.E.B. Du Bois (1868), actor Peter Fonda (1940), singer-songwriter Howard Jones (1955), actress Niecy Nash (1970), actress Emily Blunt (1983), and actress Dakota Fanning (1994)

*****

OK, that's it for this week!

We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with another email and FINALLY a fresh customer Q&A! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email, reply to this one and let us know!

Peace, love, and karma,

Meredith

IN CASE YOU DIDN'T GET YOUR FILL OF SUGARY TREATS LAST WEEK, IT'S NATIONAL STICKY BUN DAY

Yeah, we're talking gooey yeasty sticky pastries, perhaps loaded with nuts and maple syrup for good measure. What's not to love?

Our Delve Deck Joy Edition asks what dessert you'll always order if it's on the menu, and some sort of cinnamon roll or sticky bun is at the top of my list. It's a dopamine rush in edible form.

If you could use a little treat to brighten your day, perhaps a Delve Deck Joy Edition or some other fun item from our site, you can get FREE US SHIPPING on any order today with code STICKY at check out.

Sticky buns may not solve your problems, but they will momentarily distract you from them. Take what you can get. 🤷‍♀️

GIF via Rosanna Pansino

Want a few interesting historical tidbits and famous birthdays before we get to amusing links to brighten your day? Have at them:

• The peace symbol was designed by Gerald Holtom on this day in 1958. The symbol was commissioned by the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (CND) and combines the semaphore symbols for the letters N and D - an abbreviation of "Nuclear Disarmament"

 • The world's first telephone book was issued in New Haven, Connecticut on this day in 1878. If you are too young to remember telephone books, go ask your parents about these behemoths.

• The New Yorker magazine began publication on this day in 1925

• The first Legend of Zelda game was released on this day in 1986

• Birthday sticky buns all around for: fashion designer Christian Dior (1905), author Erma Bombeck (1927), actress of Golden Girls fame Rue McClanahan (1934), singer-songwriter Nina Simone (1933), actor Alan Rickman (1946), singer-songwriter Mary Chapin Carpenter (1958), actress Jennifer Love Hewitt (1979), actor/filmmaker Jordan Peele (1979), and actor Elliott Page (1987)

Alright, on to the main course: amusing links to brighten your day...

*****

1. 😈️ Can men and women just be friends?

Tess and Gabe from Boredwalk's content team might not think so, but they have some very different reasons why!

For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.

2. 🤖 Watch out for Alexa, she has an agenda

Humorist Emily Morrow imagines the robot uprising we're all dreading/expecting.

3. 💀 Are you attempting to blend in with the human population?

Horror/humor creator Ashur Gharavi has some ideas for you. I have to admit, I was transfixed by Ashur's content and binged all of his videos. If you like super bizarre funny spooky content (and if you're a Boredwalk fan, I bet you do) you'll probably enjoy a lot of his content.

4. 😆 If planet Earth were on a dating app

Humor creator Hila imagines what Earth's dating profile would say to try to get some right swipes.

5. 🧙 Why Terry the gnome finds himself in the corner

Terry isn't getting his gnome bacon due to his dark magic antics. Will he learn his lesson? Doubtful.

*****

We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...

Peace, love, and pastries,

Meredith

SIGN. ME. UP!

Happy National Pancake Week! If anything could possibly snap me out of the interminable malaise of winter, it would an entire week dedicated to this fluffy, spongy, delicately sweet conveyance for maple syrup.

Why indeed, Leslie.

GIF via NBC / Parks And Recreation

*****

However, in case starchy breakfast treats aren't your thing, today is also:

• National Chocolate Mint Day. An infinitely superior flavor pairing to that of chocolate and orange, I'll be celebrating with some After Eights tonight. It's also Girl Scout Cookie season, so Thin Mints are an excellent alternative!

• National Airboat Day. Ugh, seriously?! Hard pass. Anything that is both obnoxiously loud AND designed to put me closer to the mouths of alligators is not to be celebrated.

• National Vet Girls Rock Day. Now we're talking! Thanks to the over 2 million female veterans in the U.S. for their service. Including our dearly departed Bea Arthur! Dorothy the Golden Girl served as a truck driving Staff Sergeant in the Marine Corps during WWII.

February 19th's historical happenings of note:

WHO DOESN'T LOVE THE SMELL OF DISAPPOINTMENT IN THE MORNING?

Today's random occasion is Do-A-Grouch-A-Favor Day which encourages you to do something nice for someone grumpy.

I am often grumpy and would LOVE for the universe to do ME a favor and stop making everything terrible. If you are also prone to misfortune and the attendant crankiness that comes with it, I hope the universe cuts you some slack today.

Oscar realizing he should have just stayed in his trashcan today. I know that feeling.

GIF via PBS Kids

*****

While you're waiting for your new Boredwalk gear to arrive you can also treat your earholes to the latest episode of the Boredwalk Podcast!

This week Meredith & Tess revel in Taylor Swift's ruination of the Super Bowl for fragile men!

Tess then plots what she is going to do with the preposterous amount of grapefruit her partner Trevor was scammed into purchasing by his ex-coworker's child. Meredith is dealing with the same issue, but with lemons, and instead of an annoying child it is Mother Nature herself doing the scamming by virtue of the lemon tree in her yard.

A HOLIDAY FOR EATING CANDY? I'LL TAKE IT!

Halloween was months ago and we've been steadfast in sticking to our New Year's resolutions (right?!), so it's obviously time for a fresh sugar buzz for all of us. Valentine's Day to the rescue! While you're busy scarfing down fancy chocolates today, here's some savings to wash down those treats.

Today and TODAY ONLY take 14% off your order with code VDAY14 at check out.

This is what would happen if I got a job at a chocolate factory.

GIF courtesy of CBS / I Love Lucy

Want a few interesting historical tidbits and famous birthdays before we get to amusing links to brighten your day? Here's a few:

• The first photograph of a US President — specifically James Polk — was taken in Washington, DC on this day in 1849

• The original Dracula film starring Bela Lugosi as the titular vampire premiered on this day in 1931

• Arizona was admitted as the 48th state of the United States on this day in 1912

• Youtube.com was launched on this day in 2005

• Birthday chocolate all around for: African-American abolitionist, lecturer, and editor Frederick Douglass (1818), actress Florence Henderson of The Brady Bunch fame (1934), reporter/Watergate sleuth Carl Bernstein (1944), illusionist Teller of Penn & Teller fame (1948), actress Meg Tilly of Psycho II and The Big Chill fame (1960), actor Simon Pegg of Shaun of the Dead fame (1970), singer-songwriter Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 fame (1972), and actor Freddie Highmore of Bates Motel fame (1992; who knew Valentine's Day was so big in the Psycho canon?)

Alright, on to the main course: amusing links to brighten your day...

*****

1. ❤️️ What's in and out for Valentine's Day 2024

Tess from Boredwalk's content team is doing some trend forecasting for V-Day 2024, and it's as wickedly funny as you'd expect. Be sure to comment and let her know if you agree!

For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.

2. 🤓 Even fonts get the blues

Humorist Elle Cordova imagines what the fonts are thinking when Calibri gets demoted.

3. 😹 This kitty is hangry and indiscriminate

Ever seen a big orange cat aggressively devouring cucumber? You're about to! Reminds me of something my dearly departed big orange cat Bigby would do; that guy would've eaten literally anything. Turn sound on to get the full effect of this cat's weirdo grumbles and munching sound effects.

4. 😆 When trying to help a stranger takes a turn

This sketch about getting in the car with strangers has more twists than a pretzel, enjoy!

5. 🐈 Delightfully wholesome minimalist comic about life with a cat

Here's a sweet little comic about caring for a cat by indie artist iamsitting.

*****

EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY. INCLUDING THE OFFSEASON.

Chin up, Niners fans! There's always next year! If nothing else, you can now give your full attention to the Warriors and the Giants until September. So, uh... y'know... shake it off. (Too soon?)

And congrats, Chiefs fans! The Taylor Swift Conspiracy worked exactly as planned! I hope she and Travis enjoy their much deserved trip to Disney World/Land/Census Designated Place. They've earned it!

Every weird misogynist that's been suffering from TDS (Taylor Derangement Syndrome) for the last several months, probably.

GIF via NBC / The Office

*****

Two things to celebrate today as you recover from your Super Bowl hangover (yeah, I SAID IT! Screw your "big game" nonsense, Goodell! Come at me!):

• National Freedom To Marry Day, which celebrates the day in 2004 when then-mayor Gavin Newsom directed the city of San Francisco to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples

• National Plum Pudding Day, because who doesn't want to celebrate bizarrely named English desserts full of fruits other than actual plums?

*****

Alright! Let's kick off the week with a few famous February 12th historical events and notable birthdays:

• In 1733 James Oglethorpe founded Georgia, the 13th of the original colonies that would eventually become the United States, when he settled at Savannah

• In 1909 the NAACP was founded

• Birthday plum pudding all around for: English geologist and theorist Charles Darwin (1809), lawyer and 16th President of the United States Abraham Lincoln (1809), French engineer, businessman, and automobile manufacturer Louis Renault (1877), NBA legend Bill Russell (1934), author & educator Judy Blume (1938), singer-songwriter & keyboard player Ray Manzarek of The Doors (1939), computer scientist, engineer, and futurist Ray Kurzweil (1948), actor & talk show host Arsenio Hall (1956), actor Josh Brolin of The Goonies fame (1968), singer Chynna Phillips of Wilson Phillips fame (1968), filmmaker Darren Aronofsky of Pi, Requiem for a Dream, The Wrestler, and Black Swan fame (1969), rapper Gucci Mane (1980), and actress Christina Ricci (1980)

*****

OK, no new customer Q&A this week, unfortunately! If you're feeling even moderately outgoing and would like to be featured in an upcoming Monday email (and are a customer with some Boredwalk tees, tanks, hoodies, towels, bags, books, or Delve Decks to show off), just reply to this and let us know and we'll send you some fun questions!

We'll be back here in your inbox on Wednesday with some more random holidays to observe, historical tidbits to acknowledge, and fun links to entertaining content! Until next time...

...WITH 2024'S BULLSHIRT

Here's hoping you have a bullshirt-free weekend! I myself have been dealing with entirely too much bullshirt since the start of this cursed year, so hopefully a respite is nearly at hand for me, too.

In case you were not aware, there are some random holidays being observed today!

First up is National Cut The Cord Day, which seemed more worthy of celebration in the previous decade before every major Hollywood studio decided to slap a "+" after their name and charge $10/mo to watch things we've already seen dozens, if not hundreds, of times.

Remember when the streaming space was basically just Netflix, Hulu, and something-something Prime? Virtually everything ever filmed was available between those three platforms for like $20/mo. 

Now we're back to paying cable prices to access the same amount of content, with the added inconvenience of having to login to each service with a strong password comprised of a billion weird characters using a single-button remote. By the time you're logged in, you've forgotten what you wanted to watch in the first place! Isn't modern living fun?!

Massage all you want, Charlie, it only gets worse from here!

GIF courtesy It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia / FX / Hulu

*****

Don't worry, though — today is also National Pizza Day! Callooh, callay!

It's also National Toothache Day, which honestly is very much a bummer, so if one arises I plan to just rub some pizza on it and see if that helps.

*****

While you're waiting for your new Boredwalk gear to arrive you can also treat your earholes to the latest episode of the Boredwalk Podcast!

This week Meredith & Tess pay tribute to the insect mass grave that keeps appearing in the same spot in our recording studio each week. This sparks debate on whether the cause is scientific or supernatural in origin. Opinions are split!

Tess then shares a review of Boredwalk's Good Company guest book, which sparks a discussion about marketing fails. This leads into a fun dissection of recent troll comments — delightful!

They then react to fan response to the recent Question of the Day "what is your favorite emotion?" before sharing their own answers.

The episode wraps up with a rant from Tess about commercial audition requirements before she and Meredith trade answers to questions from the Delve Deck Venting and Joy Editions: "What ruined an enjoyable hobby for you?" and "what is your favorite memory?"

Meredith talks about the conundrum of being a feminist horror fan, and Tess reveals her best concert-going experience ever — and it shockingly was NOT opening night of Taylor Swift's Eras tour! Tap here to listen to all of the things!

*****

Alright! Let's send you off into the weekend with some notable events and famous birthdays from February 9ths of yore! If that includes yours, happy birthday to you!

• In 1942 year-round Daylight saving time (i.e., the summer one) was reinstated in the U.S. as a wartime measure to help conserve energy resources.

SETTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES...

AND THEN IGNORING THEM

Happy National Girls and Women in Sports Day! Fitting that this is mere days away from Caitlin Clark breaking the all-time women's college basketball scoring record! Something else sportsball related is happening this weekend, but it escapes me...

Before we get to today's sweet link roundup, let's acknowledge some notable events and birthdays from February 7ths of yore! If today happens to be YOUR birthday, I hope it's a happy one full of celebratory delights!

• In 1497 Florentine supporters of ascetic Dominican friar and noted buzzkill Girolamo Savonarola burned cosmetics, art, and books in a "bonfire of the vanities." This is why we can't have nice things: religious weirdos are always setting fire to our coolest stuff — books, art, music, witches, etc.!

• In 1992 the Maastricht Treaty was signed, leading to the creation of the European Union. Only took a few thousand years for them to learn the lesson "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"

• In 2013 Mississippi officially certified the 13th Amendment, becoming the last U.S. state to approve the abolition of slavery. Yikes. Better late than never, I guess? But also: woof. Do better, Mississippi.

• Birthday cake all around for: English lawyer & philosopher Sir Thomas More of Utopia fame (1478), blacksmith, businessman, and plowing enthusiast John Deere of riding lawn mower fame (1804), English novelist & critic Charles Dickens of "look, you know the books, I'm not listing them all here" fame (1812), author and prairie enthusiast Laura Ingalls Wilder of "look, you know the books, I'm not listing them all here" fame (1867), Irish shipbuilder Thomas Andrews of RMS Titanic fame/infamy (1873), actor/80s teen movie villain James Spader (1960), singer-songwriter, guitarist, and friend of people in low places Garth Brooks (1962), English comedian, actress, and producer Suzy Izzard (1962), actor, comedian, and filmmaker Chris Rock (1965), rapper & producer J Dilla (1974), actress Tina Majorino of Napoleon Dynamite and Veronica Mars fame (1985), and actress Deborah Ann Woll of True Blood and Daredevil fame (1985)

• Pour one out for: Jazz singer & pianist Blossom Dearie (d. 2009), and Major League Baseball Hall of Fame outfielder, manager, and 2-time World Series champion Frank Robinson (d. 2019)

The way Boredwalk's year is going, you'd think Thomas Andrews built our company, too.

GIF courtesy of Titanic / Paramount Pictures

Now on to the amusing links!

*****

1. 🛋️ Boundaries? Those are the things made to be broken, right?

The doctor is in... and he has had about enough of our bull****!

We were VERY pleased to have our friend Ky stop by Boredwalk HQ last week to shoot some content! Be sure to give him a like, a follow, and watch ALL of the things wherever you consume content. Links to all of @TheVibeWithKy's social accounts can be found here.

For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.

2. 🏰 Disney never seemed so sinister!

Voice actor & content creator Lucas pulls back the curtain to show us what REALLY happens during pitch meetings at Disney.

3. 😹 When positive feelings are too intense...

... you may be suffering from cute aggression! YouTuber Anthony Vincent will explain.

4. 😟 Self-checkout stressing you out?

Voice actor Tawny Platis has just what you need to get through this harrowing ordeal.

5. 🥣 Trader Joe's is the best!

Sketch comic and content creator Davie Bailsig breaks it all down for us! (Just don't mention the cereal. Or the parking.)

*****

WE HAVE JUST THE SOLUTION FOR YOU

Happy Rain-ageddon from soggy Los Angeles! I have to imagine that after getting pummeled by "atmospheric rivers" for two consecutive winters, any southern Californian who interacts with singer-songwriter Albert Hammond, Sr. would accuse him of selling us all a false bill of goods. It most certainly DOES rain in southern California.

Thankfully our office is slightly elevated, so we should be dry enough to continue printing shirts and packing up orders without issue, but as the shirt up top says, maybe worrying about it will help? Seems like sound advice, so I'll be fretting my way slowly  down the 605 this morning in case anyone needs to get ahold of me.

No, this is not Albert Hammond, Sr. of "It Never Rains In Southern California" fame. It is his son Albert Hammond, Jr. of Strokes and solo career fame, which is the closest Albert Hammond in GIF form I could get. They look pretty similar, though, so this'll do in a pinch.

GIF via Red Bull Records (because apparently Red Bull also gives you record contracts in addition to wings)

*****

We have quite a smorgasbord of random occasions to observe today, so let's get celebrating! It is:

• International Clash Day (the English punk band, not a celebration of geo-political conflict)

• Disaster Day (if this rain keeps up that's exactly what we'll have here in SoCal!)

• National Chocolate Fondue Day

• National Fart Day

• National Shower With A Friend Day

I imagine eating too much chocolate fondue could lead to farts, which could lead to a disastrous clash with your bestie if you let one rip while showering together, so, uh, eat wisely I guess?

*****

Alright! Let's kick off the week with a few famous February 5th historical events and notable birthdays:

• In 1907 Belgian chemist Leo Baekeland announced the creation of Bakelite, the world's first synthetic plastic. Vintage household items made of Bakelite have since become popular collectibles.

• In 1919 actors & filmmakers Charlie Chaplin, Mary Pickford, Douglas Fairbanks, and D.W. Griffith launched the production and distribution company United Artists

• In 1971 NASA's Apollo 14 mission completed a landing of a crew of astronauts in the lunar highlands

• Birthday chocolate all around for: Beat Generation novelist & essayist William S. Burroughs (1914), famed session drummer Hal Blaine, who played on 150 U.S. Top 10 hits and 40 #1 hits (1929), baseball Hall of Famer Henry "Hammerin' Hank" Aaron (1934), Swiss artist H.R. Giger of Alien film franchise and Danzig and Emerson, Lake, and Palmer album cover fame (1940), singer-songwriter & pianist Barrett Strong of "Money (That's What I Want)" fame, among many others (1941), Atari, Inc. and Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza Time Theatre founder Nolan Bushnell (1943), English actress Charlotte Rampling (1946), engineer & astronaut Mary L. Cleave (1947), actor & filmmaker Christopher Guest of This Is Spinal Tap, The Princess Bride, Best In Show, A Mighty Wind, and Waiting for Guffman fame (1948), English actor Tom Wilkinson of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Batman Begins fame (1948), actor & screenwriter Tim Meadows of Saturday Night Live, The Ladies Man, and Mean Girls fame (1961), actress & filmmaker Jennifer Jason Leigh of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Single White Female, Backdraft, and Weeds fame (1962), actress Laura Linney of The Truman Show, The Big C, Love Actually, and Ozark fame (1964), bassist & singer-songwriter Duff McKagan of Guns n' Roses and Velvet Revolver fame (1964), actor & comedian Chris Parnell of Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock fame (1967), Puerto Rican-American baseball Hall of Fame second baseman Roberto Alomar (1968), singer-songwriter Bobby Brown of New Edition and solo career fame (1969), Welsh actor & director Michael Sheen of Underworld and Twilight film franchise and Masters of Sex fame (1969), and programmer and creator of LiveJournal Brad Fitzpatrick (1980)

• Pour one out for: Actor and inspiration for The Simpsons' Troy McClure Doug McClure (d. 1995). You may remember him from such TV shows as The Virginian and Out of This World and such films as Gidget, At the Earth's Core, The Land That Time Forgot, The People The Time Forgot, and Warlords of Atlantis.

Also pour one out for actor Kirk Douglas of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Spartacus, The Fury, The Man from Snowy River, and The Final Countdown fame (d. 2020), and Canadian actor Christopher Plummer of The Sound of Music, Starcrash, Somewhere in Time, Dragnet, and An American Tail fame (d. 2021)

*****

OK, no new customer Q&A this week, unfortunately! If you're feeling even moderately outgoing and would like to be featured in an upcoming Monday email (and are a customer with some Boredwalk tees, tanks, hoodies, towels, bags, books, or Delve Decks to show off), just reply to this and let us know and we'll send you some fun questions!

We'll be back here in your inbox on Wednesday with some more random holidays to observe, historical tidbits to acknowledge, and fun links to entertaining content! Until next time...

Peace, love, and melted chocolate,

Matt

IT'S GONNA BE COLD, IT'S GONNA BE GREY, AND IT'S — EH, YOU GET IT.

Happy Groundhog Day! I have it on good authority that our prognosticating pal Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow up on Gobbler's Knob this morning (regardless of what the internet claims), so prepare to enjoy another 6 infinities of misery!

Our other friend Phil — a prognosticator of weather — has the forecast for us! What say you, Phil?

Same as it ever was!

Forgive my exhaustion with existence, but I'm writing this after 75+ minutes on chat support with "Miguel" over at Meta to figure out why their vaunted algorithm elected to replace our Facebook & Instagram Shop banner that was something normal — like, y'know, a product photo — with a generic sizing chart graphic.

Miguel's answer? "Who can say why robots do the things they do?"

You're right, Miguel! Clearly not me! Clearly not you! Clearly not even Zuck. He's FAR too busy kickboxing some lackey in the face on a private beach in Hawaii to worry himself with petty human concerns like making sure his $120 BILLION dollar product works properly for his paying customers like some jabroni at Boredwalk (aka me)!

Anyway, enough of my whining about all my terrible life decisions!

Moving on to other topics...Happy National Catchers Day! We are a mere week away from when pitchers and catchers begin reporting to their various Spring Training facilities, and right now baseball season is pretty much the ONLY thing I have to look forward to, so huzzah to you, catchers!

My favorite factoid about catchers is that their equipment is derisively nicknamed "the tools of ignorance," in reference to the irony that a player with the intelligence to be effective at his job behind the plate would be foolish enough to play a position requiring so much safety gear.

...BUT BRANDY ALEXANDERS
ARE QUICKER 🍸

Happy National Hot Chocolate Day! And if you're of the opinion that candy is dandy but liquor is quicker, Happy Brandy Alexander Day!

Fun fact: the Brandy Alexander was John Lennon's favorite tipple, and his carousing pal Harry Nilsson is who introduced them to him!

It is also Eat Your Brussels Sprouts Day, if that interests you, I guess.

Before we get to today's sweet link roundup, let's acknowledge some notable events and birthdays from January 31sts of yore! If today happens to be YOUR birthday, I hope it is a happy one full of chocolatey delights! (Unless you are allergic, in which case I hope it is full of some OTHER, secret delight of your choosing.)

• On this day in 1988 Doug Williams became the first Black quarterback to play in a Super Bowl, as he led my hometown Washington Commanders to victory over the Denver Broncos in Super Bowl XXII. I was only a tyke at the time, but I remember being pretty stoked about this.

• Birthday hot chocolate all around for: Dentist and Western novelist Zane Grey of Riders of the Purple Sage fame (1872), baseball icon and Hall of Fame second baseman Jackie Robinson (1919), actress, singer, and dancer Carol Channing of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and Hello, Dolly! fame (1921), journalist & author Norman Mailer (1923), Chicago Cubs Hall of Fame infielder Ernie "Let's play two!" Banks (1931), singer-songwriter Harry Wayne Casey of disco luminaries K.C. and the Sunshine Band (1951), English singer-songwriter John Lydon of the Sex Pistols and Public Image, Ltd. (1956), Scottish author & screenwriter Grant Morrison of The Invisibles fame (1960), English singer-songwriter & guitarist Lloyd Cole (1961), English singer-songwriter & actress Minnie Driver of Good Will Hunting, Grosse Pointe Blank, and The Riches fame (1970), actress Kerry Washington of Scandal fame (1977), and singer-songwriter & actor Justin Timberlake of gaslighting Britney fame (1981)

• Pour out a Brandy Alexander for: English conspirator and mask inspiration Guy Fawkes (d. 1606), English author, poet, and playwright A.A. Milne of Winnie-the-Pooh fame (d. 1956), and Motown composer & songwriter Anna Gordy Gaye (d. 2014)

Look, the mask that bears his name is cool an' all, but let's not forget that this stylish edgelord was really just a religious zealot who was executed for trying to replace Protestant King James with his 9-year old daughter Elizabeth and then force her to marry some crusty old Catholic dude of his choosing. Smells like textbook patriarchal establishmentarianism to me!

GIF courtesy of V for Vendetta / Warner Bros. Pictures

Now on to the amusing links!

*****

 1. 🧙🏼‍♀️ Tess has a fever...

...and the only prescription is moving to a secluded castle in the forest!

For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.

2. 🐶 Cute dog! Is it a charcuterie?

Matt Conaghan is a freshly minted thousandaire, and he is here to brag about his recent windfall!

3. 🍝 When you're here, you're miserable!

Actor & comedian Chaz May portrays a day in the life of an Olive Garden patron.

4. 🔴 Seeing (and eating!) red

Comedy creator Tyler Bender walks us through the next diet craze that will be sweeping the nation: Red 40 maxing!

5. 🦙 Boyfriend trouble? Replace him with a llama!

Next time the pocket-hoarding man in your life gives you grief about carrying your stuff, just remind him how replaceable he is.

*****

We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...

IT'S NATIONAL PUZZLE DAY!

Did you know solving puzzles is actually good for you? Solving puzzles fosters a sense of accomplishment, releasing dopamine in your brain, which makes you feel happier. Plus, solving puzzles stimulates your brain, improving memory, cognitive function, and problem solving skills in the process.

That makes today a perfect occasion to get our adult activity books, Adventures in the Abyss or Whatever! Both books are loaded with logic puzzles, crossword puzzles, word searches, math puzzles, cryptograms, mazes, word jumbles, coloring pages, and more!

(If you're not in the mood to celebrate puzzles you could also celebrate Curmudgeons Day and Freethinkers Day.)

Wow, okay, Valentine's Day is next month, but if you do need Valentine's Day gift ideas, check out the Delve Decks! Couples that have been together for decades tell us playing with them makes them feel like they're dating again. How romantic, we love to see it!

GIF via Giphy

*****

Alright! Let's kick off the week with a few famous January 29th historical events and notable birthdays:

• Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven" was published  in the New York Evening Mirror on this day in 1845

• Kansas became the 34th US state on this day in 1861

• The Coca-Cola Company incorporated in Atlanta, Georgia on this day in 1892

• The Rubik’s Cube made its international debut at the Ideal Toy Corp. in Earl’s Court, London on this day in 1980

• Birthday cake all around for: writer/philosopher Thomas Paine of Common Sense pamphlet fame (1737), 25th US President William McKinley (1843), Russian author & playwright Anton Chekhov of "Chekhov's gun" literary device fame (1860), actor W.C. Fields (1880), actor John Forsythe of Charlie's Angels and Dynasty fame (1918), actor Tom Selleck of Magnum P.I. fame (1945), talk show host/actress Oprah Winfrey (1954), writer/director Edward Burns (1968), actress Heather Graham (1970), and actress Sara Gilbert (1975)

*****

OK, no new customer Q&A this week, unfortunately! If you're feeling even moderately outgoing and would like to be featured in an upcoming Monday email (and are a customer with some Boredwalk tees, tanks, hoodies, towels, bags, books, or Delve Decks to show off), just reply to this and let us know and we'll send you some fun questions!

We'll be back here in your inbox on Wednesday with some more random holidays to observe, historical tidbits to acknowledge, and fun links to entertaining content! Until next time...

Peace, love, and puzzles,

Meredith