PREPARE TO BE MENACED!
Well, 2024 is off to a predictably terrible start here at Boredwalk HQ. This gem of an epigram written by my co-founder Meredith way back in 2022 — and re-posted every New Year's Day since — is likely to be evergreen until we return to the dust from whence we came:
Right on cue, our offices were broken into and burglarized early yesterday morning. Our front entry door was shattered into about a billion pieces, and villains made off with assorted equipment, tools, hoodies, and t-shirts.
Dirtbags smashing our front door and breaking in.
Not to be outdone, two MORE opportunistic dirtbags saw the inviting lack of security a couple hours later and helped themselves to more inventory and equipment.
Just another dirtbag stealing our hoodie inventory, apologies if you ordered a hoodie or v-neck tee earlier this week, it may be delayed since they stole our hoodies and v-necks.
This, on the same morning I went to collect the taxidermied shell of my dearly departed cat Oliver — Boredwalk's muse, if ever there was one, for over a decade and therefore very deserving of eternal preservation — and not even two weeks since my friend Neel's passing.
This is not intended as some sort of woe-is-us plea for sympathy orders — merely an explanation of my salty demeanor in this email, as well as the lack of special discounts or new art this week. (Though our SAVE15 promo for 15% off orders of $95+ is still active, if you are interested in buying something from us.) Please buy stuff though, we gotta replace all the things that were stolen. 🙏
If you happened to order any hoodies or women's v-neck tees from us in the last few days, please be patient with us, as it may take a few more days than usual to print and ship those out while we wait for replacement inventory to arrive from our suppliers' warehouses.
OK, now that my whining is out of the way... here are today's random occasions and notable birthdays & historical events with corresponding snarky commentary:
• National Screenwriters Day - Underrated!
• National Whipped Cream Day - Overrated!
• National Bird Day - Appropriately Rated! (Probably, even if I am partial to their mortal enemy, the domestic house cat)
• National Whipped Cream Day - Overrated!
• National Bird Day - Appropriately Rated! (Probably, even if I am partial to their mortal enemy, the domestic house cat)
• In 1914 Ford Motor Company announced an 8-hour workday and minimum daily wage of $5 in salary plus bonuses. As labor activist Joe Hill sang in 1913 (and as Billy Bragg sang in 1986), "there is power in a union."
• In 1925 Nellie Tayloe Ross of Wyoming became the first female governor in the United States
• In 1925 Nellie Tayloe Ross of Wyoming became the first female governor in the United States
• Birthday cake all around for: Explorer and Pike's Peak namesake Zebulon Pike (1779), music producer and Sun Records founder Sam Phillips (1923), actor Robert Duvall of The Godfather film franchise, Apocalypse Now, Network, and True Grit fame (1931), actress Diane Keaton of Annie Hall and Baby Boom fame (1946), actor, director, and screenwriter Ted "Isaac the bartender" Lange of Love Boat fame (1948), guitarist Chris Stein of New Wave luminaries Blondie (1950), actor Clancy Brown of The Highlander, Batman: The Animated Series, and The Shawshank Redemption fame (1959), actor Bradley Cooper (1975), actress January Jones of Mad Men fame (1978), and Canadian musician Deadmau5 (1981)
• Pour one out for: 30th POTUS Calvin Coolidge (d. 1933), botanist & inventor George Washington Carver (d. 1943), jazz bassist, composer, and bandleader Charles Mingus (d. 1979), singer-songwriter, actor, and politician Sonny Bono (d. 1998), Taiwanese-Japanese businessman and instant noodle inventor & Top Ramen/Nissin Foods founder Momofuku Ando (d. 2007), and singer-songwriter, trumpeter, and record producer Willie Mitchell of Hi Records fame (d. 2010)
*****
t's not entirely bleak here at Boredwalk, though — my co-founder Meredith did have time to sit down and record a new podcast episode with Gabe, the newest member of our content team!
Give it a listen on your preferred podcasting platform here!
They then checked in on "the week in troll comments" — always a treat!
Next up, they react to fan responses to the recent Question of the Day "what is the worst thing about 21st century living?" Unsurprisingly, the internet and social media feature heavily in the discussion.
This led into a conversation about Meredith's current deep dive into documentaries about modern hippie communes. General consensus: fine for a weekend with close friends, but not appealing for extended periods with randos.
They wrap up the episode trading answers to questions from the Delve Deck Venting and Joy expansion packs!
First up: "what food do you hate to buy because you know it will go bad before you can finish it?" Gabe says Costco-sized bags of broccoli, Meredith says milk. Whether you favor dairy, oat, almond, or some other creamy beverage, it's tough for two non-cereal eaters who rarely bake to get through a half-gallon before it goes south.
Next, on the joyful side of things: "what do you find calming?" Gabe says staying in with his dogs and his partner, and Meredith agrees — she just wants to read books and sip tea in her egg chair. (Though my presence is likely inessential, with good reason.)
If you enjoyed their chat and feel like your own conversations could use a thoughtful spark, I've got great news: the burglars did not steal a single Delve Deck, so feel free to order as many as you'd like!
OK, that's it for this week! We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with another email and MAYBE a fresh customer Q&A! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email reply to this and let us know!
Peace, love, and less villainy,
Matt
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