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Boredwalk Community: Reading Minds
Welcome to our weekly Boredwalk Community series, where we ask Boredwalk fans fun questions! This week we're talking to Jessica S. of Raymond NH, showing off an Antisocial Butterfly shirt.
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
My day job is working in the office of a special education school. I would love to be a party planner or have a bakery, though. (Ed. note: SpEd is super-important, though, and we appreciate your work in that field. We'd also be happy to taste test your baked goods, though. Om nom nom.)
2. What's your biggest pet peeve?
Smokers.😝 Especially when they throw cigarettes out car windows.
3. If you could have any super power what would you choose?
The ability to read minds. Then I wouldn't have to wonder...
4. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
Going to England or being debt-free. (Those two things *might* be at odds with one another. Here's hoping you strike it rich!)
5. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about.)
The youngest child in a family isn't always a spoiled brat. I should know, since I'm the sixth of six. (Hmm. Something tells me you might be biased...but it's not like I can cross-check this with your siblings, so I suppose we'll have to trust you.)
6. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
Instagram: @jcsntgo
Boredwalk Community: Running for Congress
Welcome to our weekly Boredwalk Community series, where we ask Boredwalk fans fun questions! This week we're talking to Kiani G. of Spanish Fort AL, showing off an Elect More Scientists shirt.
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
I was an Assistant Professor of Biology until May, when I quit to become a full-time candidate for Congress (AL-01). My dream job is to be the host of a public access children's science show. Sort of like a new take on "Mr Wizard." (Ed. note: I want both of these things to happen!)
2. What keeps you up at night?
Climate change and the fact that our federal government isn't doing enough to protect the world that my children will live in. Ditching plastic straws is great, but we need a major overhaul of federal policy.
3. What's the most useful piece of advice you've ever received?
Early is on-time. On-time is late. And late is unacceptable. Thanks, Dad.
4. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
Right now, all I want is a full night's sleep. But, one day, I'd really like to hug an elephant. (Both admirable goals.)
5. What is a surprising fact about you?
My motorcycle was hit by a car in 2010. I was told that I would never walk again. 10 months later, I was walking. 10 years later, I'm running (for office.) Moral of the story, kids: Don't text and drive. (Wow. Yeah kids, don't do that.)
6. What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?
The Rise and Fall of the Dinosaurs by Steve Brusatte. I really liked dinosaurs as a kid, then I "outgrew" them. Now, my youngest son is obsessed with dinosaurs, and teaching him about them has reminded me of how much I loved them, too. This book is a reminder to adults about why we all liked dinosaurs so much as kids — because they are amazing! (They really, really are!)
7. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about.)
Alabama is a beautiful state. It's worth fighting for.
8. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
KianiGardner.com
Facebook: @VoteKiani
Twitter: @kianigardner
Instagram:@kianigardner
Boredwalk Community: Teleportation Dreams
Welcome to our weekly Boredwalk Community series, where we ask Boredwalk fans fun questions! This week we're talking to Catherine L. of Bloomington IL, showing off a Maybe Tomorrow Satan Shirt shirt.
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
I work as a corporate researcher and manage a small corporate library. I hope someday to be a full-time book blogger! (Ed. note: You can do it — we believe in you!)
2. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
A trip to The Hague, Netherlands. (The city in general, or the International Court of Justice most often associated with the city? WE NEED SPECIFICS, Cat. We want to know if you're merely tip-toeing through the tulips or if this is some sort of grim tribunal situation.)
3. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
Teleportation. I would save so much time and money if I never had to use cars, trains, or planes! (Teleportation is coming up a lot as an answer to this question...🤔)
4. What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?
The best book I read this year was The Testaments by Margaret Atwood, but you should definitely read The Handmaid's Tale first!
5. What's your biggest pet peeve?
People being rude in public. (THIS! Save your worst impulses for the privacy of your own home like a grown-ass adult, folks.)
6. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
On Twitter @Cat_grl6
Boredwalk Community: Teleporting and Kitten Wrangling
Welcome to our weekly Boredwalk Community series, where we ask Boredwalk fans fun questions! This week we're talking to Heather L. of Riverside NJ, showing off a Death Metal Shirt shirt.
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
My day job is in Customer Service for a national furniture manufacturer. My dream job is to be a powerwasher by day, kitten wrangler by night. (Ed. note: I completely understand the desire to be a nocturnal kitten wrangler...but powerwasher by day? This poses more questions than answers, Heather. What will you be washing? How much power is needed?)
What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
I would love to visit another continent (I've never been off North America.) (As someone who has, be forewarned: people are dicks EVERYwhere.)
If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
Teleportation - no more traffic ever! (Having spent over three hours in the car running work errands I can definitely get behind this.)
You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
The perpetual feeling that they're just about to sneeze. (Brutal! It's tough to look metal while you're stifling a sneeze.)
5. What's your biggest pet peeve?
LOUD (human) CHEWING. You're gross; close your mouth. Animals chewing is cute and funny, though.
6. What's a life pro tip the Boredwalk community needs to know?
You can (and should!) make yourself happy without stepping on someone else to do so. (Words to live by!)
6. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
On Instagram @Aur0ra888 and/or @therealhousecatsofnewjersey
Ghost impregnations and Renaissance raccoons.
No new designs this week, as we're all working hard to get your orders printed, packed up, and shipped out as fast as we can (within reason.) In the meantime, admire our classic Be The Strange You Wish To See In The World design printed on one of our soft, cozy, and warm hoodies! It's a fitting complement to this week's podcast episode, which is a little on the strange side.
This week we peel the curtain back on how businesses feel about Black Friday & Cyber Monday (hint: we hate them), share a review, discuss the mechanics and consequences of ghost humping, lament the fact that a raccoon with delusions of grandeur has a more successful art career than we do, and read your Question of the Day comments. I also rant about laugh tracks for a bit. Enjoy!
I am hoping to get at least one new design completed for next week, but in the event that does not happen, don't fret! Meredith and I will still be making time to write (presumably) funny emails, post (hopefully) entertaining Questions of the Day on Facebook & Instagram, post (decidedly droll and dour) musings on Twitter, and record a new and innovative podcast episode ("new" in the temporal sense; "innovative" in the sense that we will be saying things into microphones we've never uttered into microphones before. Every episode is limited edition!)
Speaking of limited edition, as I mentioned above, this week we elected to embarrass ourselves even more than usual by streaming our recording of the podcast on Instagram Live! If you're on Instagram and are interested in being part of this ill-fated experiment, be sure to follow us! It was an inauspicious first step to be sure, but we'll do it a few more times to see if we can't get our act together and really buff it to a shine (or at least a moderately acceptable dullness.) What could possibly go wrong?
We also talked a bit about our new Ambassador program and the benefits thereof, give you our wishlist for the holiday season, and — speaking of wishlists — properly announce our new wishlist feature. That all probably sounds pretty boring...but that's only because I left out the parts about free merch and easy money. You'll have to listen to hear the juicy bits!
Finally, I hope you've had an OK week. Doesn't have to be amazing or great or even just good. I just hope that you're doing OK and have had a similarly OK week. Let's all keep those expectations manageable, delight in the instances wherein they're exceeded, and try our hardest not to spiral too deeply into self-hate when they fall short of the middle. I know: homework? Boo!
Peace, love, and grudging personal growth,
Matt
Boredwalk Community: Gator Wrestling and Telekinesis
Welcome to our weekly Boredwalk Community series, where we ask Boredwalk fans fun questions! This week we're talking to Ariel M. of Warrenton VA, showing off a Someday We'll All Be Dead shirt.
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
I’m a wildlife specialist, but I’d rather be a stay-at-home dog parent. (Ed. note: you and me both!)
2. What's your biggest pet peeve?
Whistling! (You and Charlynn would get along smashingly. Maybe.)
3. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
Telekinesis because I’m lazy AF. (I love this answer.)
4. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
A popcorn kernel stuck in their throat. (Savage!)
5. What's a surprising fact about you?
I’ve wrestled an alligator. (Whoa! I did not see *that* answer coming.)
6. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
On Instagram @airmixon
On Twitter @arielmixon
Black Friday calls for black cats!
• BFCM15 will save you 15% on orders of $50 or more.
• BFCM20 will save you 20% on orders of $100 or more.
Boredwalk Community: The Curse of Eternal Hiccups
Welcome to our weekly Boredwalk Community series, where we ask Boredwalk fans fun questions! This week we're talking to Amanda J. of Orlando FL, showing off an Antisocial Butterfly Shirt.
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
Actual job: Behavior Specialist
Dream job: Professional Wine Taster (Ed. note: I've been struggling as an amateur for decades...)
2. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
I'd be a jumper so I could travel through time and space while sipping wine.
3. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
Eternal hiccups...actually, I'm not sure I could do that to anyone. (You're a much kinder person than I, then. I've got a hiccup-enemies list a mile long, and I'd curse them all without hesitation. But good on you for being a decent human being!)
4. What's the most useful piece of advice you've ever received?
My mom always told me "Just do the best you can do — that's all anyone can expect from you." (Ed. note: she sounds like a smart cookie.)
5. What's a life pro tip the rest of the Boredwalk community needs to know?
Although glasses make people look smarter...they literally had to FAIL a test to get them. (Touché!)
6. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
On Instagram @slidermuzz
Season's Grievances!
Boredwalk Community: Do The Best You Can Do
Welcome to our weekly Boredwalk Community series, where we ask Boredwalk fans fun questions! This week we're talking to Cheryl C. of Burlington KY, showing off a Y'all Need Feminism Shirt.
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
I'm an administrator at a fast food chicken restaurant, but my dream job would be to work as a writer.
2. What keeps you up at night?
The current political climate. (I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way!)
3. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
Traveling is my favorite thing ever, so I would like to visit some castles in Scotland, Ireland, or Germany. I would love to visit the Maldives as well.
4. What's the most useful piece of advice you've ever received?
My mom always told me "Just do the best you can do — that's all anyone can expect from you." (Ed. note: she sounds like a smart cookie.)
5. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about.)
I'm a retired teacher, so I'd like to explain to people that teachers do more work FOR FREE than any other profession, and with zero respect. Did I also mention that they're underpaid? (Preach!)
6. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
You can find me on Twitter @mom2kian
Get your tickets to the glum show.
I'll be honest, folks: I'm running on fumes as I'm typing this. It's been an exceptionally trying week here at Boredwalk HQ, so you'll have to excuse me for not being my normal..."palatably sardonic"...self.
What's fueling our melancholy this week?
Well, the crazed landlord at the office trying to block access to our office on the busiest weekend of the year isn't helping. Neither is the arrival of our seasonal depression and the departure of daylight saving time.
On top of that there are our beloved — but nonetheless surly and snot-projecting — feline housemates racking up vet bills, and other designers' thinly-veiled (and utterly inferior) attempts to knock off our design work. In and of itself another "designer" biting our concepts is far from something new, but the fact that the designer in question is based just 90 minutes away from us and is someone we actually have helped out in the past is particularly galling. Oh, well. Maybe this creativity-challenged gutter muppet will get what's coming to them...but probably not.
As dour as the above description is, this week's podcast episode is still pretty humorous and entertaining! Don't believe me? Listen to it and judge for yourself!
With any luck we'll be back with new designs next week. The good news is that not a single person has ever successfully completed their collection of Boredwalk merchandise, so even if we're still spinning our wheels in the mud you have all these delightful wares to choose from! Until next time...
Peace, love, and tacos,
Matt
Boredwalk Community: Not All Parts of New York are Cool
Welcome to our weekly Boredwalk Community series, where we ask Boredwalk fans fun questions! This week we're talking to Dara P. of Oceanside CA, showing off a Someday We'll All Be Dead Shirt.
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
My actual day job is being an English professor. My dream day job is to swim with whales in the wild (not animal jail) for money.
2. What keeps you up at night?
Injustice.
3. What's your biggest pet peeve?
People who put their socks and shoes on like this: sock/shoe, sock/shoe. It’s obviously supposed to be sock/sock, shoe/shoe. (Ed. note: You are correct. The sock/shoe people are holding us back as a society. These are probably the same people who replace toilet paper rolls with the roll facing the wrong way IN DIRECT OPPOSITION TO THE ORIGINAL PATENT ILLUSTRATIONS. Philistines!)
4. What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. In my opinion, it is the most important dystopic novel ever written. But dang it! Can I have two? Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer. (You may.)
5. What's the most useful piece of advice you've ever received?
"Academia is one of the last safe places for people like you."
6. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about.)
I’m from New York. Not all parts of New York are cool. The part I’m from is not cool.
7. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
Walking about Oceanside, CA. Or on Instagram @ProfessorDara