This year we've been struggling to conjure up the patriotic feels, what with the baby prisons and a sociopath in the White House, but if there's one American tradition we can take comfort in, it's bourbon!

So let's get in the mood for Independence Day next week by learning a little more about one American tradition we can be proud of: bourbon!

Like all of you, Matt and I have been horrified by the reporting on immigrant families being split up and children being separated from their parents at the US/Mexico border as a result of the Trump administration's new "zero-tolerance" policy. We made a donation to RAICES this morning but wished we could afford to give more. RAICES is a Texas-based charity that is devoted to providing free and low-cost legal services to underserved immigrant children, families, and refugees in Central and South Texas.

We have decided that from now through July 31st that we will send $1 to RAICES for each shirt that we sell through this website. If you'd like to help us boost our donation budget, grab yourself a new shirt between now and July 31st or spread the word by telling your friends. If you'd like to donate to RAICES directly and skip the shirt, we strongly encourage that, too!

One of the many things that's been so frustrating about this situation is the public outcry of "What can we do?" Right now what we can do is somewhat limited. We can protest, we can contact our lawmakers, we can raise money for charities that help refugees, and we can express our general outrage, but the most important thing we can do is vote! Pledge to vote in November. Pledge to vote in primaries and local elections. Donate some time to the campaign of a candidate that opposes the Trump agenda if at all possible. We can do the most when we have elections, so make election season count by making sure that you vote and doing everything in your power to get the people around you to vote, too!

Peace, love and empathy,

Meredith
Boredwalk Co-Founder

P.S. Want a few ideas on great shirts that go with supporting basic human decency? Here's a few we recommend:

"If I saw anyone wearing any of these shirts I'd kill them and myself!"

This is pretty typical of the commentary on our social media accounts (yes, someone literally said this on one of our ads). People are so outraged at the mere existence of graphic tees that don't speak to them that they feel the need to try to ruin our day, and maybe yuck the yum of anyone else within eye-shot.

These trolls aren't even the ones who really do it for me, though. The ones that really stand out are the ones for whom irony is entirely lost as they project an aura of smugness with their rotten behavior. I give you exhibit A:

Although this person commented with her real name and photo for all the world to see her crazy, I decided to hide her name and face, because if she's not going to be embarrassed by her own behavior I guess I'll just have to be embarrassed for her.  Let's give her a nickname though, shall we? How about "Virtue Signaling Is My Cardio".

I have so many things I could say to VSIMC, but engaging with crazy never really changes anything, so instead of sharing my feedback with her, I thought I'd amuse all of you with it.

First of all, VSIMC, verbally abusing an indie designer on the internet is a weird way to advocate for mental health. Why the assumption that I don't suffer from depression myself (I do)? What gives you the right to tell me and other people who share my sense of humor that we can't find humor in our own struggles? Do you have a monopoly on what kind of perspectives people are allowed to have on mortality?

Second, I assume the "timing" reference is regarding the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. We designed and published this piece before their suicides, but even if we hadn't, it would be in no way a reference to them. That said, being two people that dedicated their lives to creative output, I can't imagine they'd delight in someone using their suicides as a reason to bully and verbally abuse another creative professional about their creative content.

As for capitalizing, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you wouldn't be offended by your favorite band writing an ironic song about death and would probably not begrudge them "capitalizing" on their creative content in the form of album sales or concert ticket sales. So I'm going to guess it's not that you're offended by creatives "capitalizing" on their maudlin content; just offended by the medium in which I do it. Maybe if I slapped that same art on a 10-foot tall canvas in the Met I'd get your seal of approval?

Could we have pursued a fine art career instead of something as lowbrow as graphic tees? Probably, but it would also probably be harder to make a full-time living that way, make the content less accessible, and put us in less of a position to do the other cool stuff our chosen path allows. You know, like building a business that enables us to create good jobs in our community with living wages. Provide people who appreciate our work with a fun product they can use as a form of self-expression and a means of connecting with other people who share their sense of humor.

Lastly, what exactly is the goal with a comment like that? Am I supposed to now realize I am a capitalist "fuckwad" exacerbating the symptoms of depression sufferers everywhere and what? I don't know...maybe kill myself? I mean, I am such an irredeemable piece of trash, maybe I'd be doing the whole world a favor, right? Fight suicide and depression by trying to make other people feel shittier and more self-loathing and consider killing themselves. Love it! Your work is done here, VSIMC.

Look, here's the deal: if you see something on the internet that you don't like, the best course of action is to JUST. MOVE. ALONG. I see stuff on the internet all day every day that doesn't interest me; I cope by moving on to other things. I assume the content isn't for me and that the whole world doesn't revolve around me and my personal taste or world view.

If you feel so strongly about someone's content online but want to be, y'know, constructive about it, reach out via a private message or email. There are people on the other side of the screen, with feelings and beating hearts just like you! Presented in the right spirit & tone, we may even have a great dialogue and come around to your way of thinking! Even if we don't, we'll respect you and value your opinion a heck of a lot more if you treat us with the same respect you'd like to receive from strangers, too.

Even if you think it might be fun to try to make a company (or their employees) feel like shit for existing, keep this in mind: Facebook/Instagram calculates the "relevance" of an ad based on how much engagement the ad gets. Facebook/Instagram do not take into account that you're talking shit. They just see comments and count it as "engagement." The more "engagement" an ad gets, the more relevant the ad appears and thus the less the advertiser pays to display their ads. Highly relevant ads pay a lower display rate than ads with low relevance. So if you really want to stick it to an advertiser you don't like, shut the fuck up. By denying them your "engagement" you're not contributing to their lower ad expenses. Plus, you get to look like less of a deranged asshole to the general public. Bonus!

Anyway, I'm going to assume VSIMC is fighting her own battle and that her little tantrum was about her own difficulty coping with whatever she has going on. I hope that she gets the help she needs, but in the interim I've had to ban her from commenting on our ads, because she's just not really contributing to the conversation in a way that interests anyone.

Hope the rest of you are having a more cheerful week than we are!

Peace, Love and Angst,

- Meredith

While we're super-lucky here at Boredwalk HQ to be able to spend some of our workday doing creative stuff, the actual amount of time Meredith and I spend on designing is pretty minimal relative to the rest of the time we spend here in the office. Most of our days are spent working on Facebook & Instagram ads, working on emails, helping Jessica & Breana with customer service and packing up orders, helping Sarah out with printing shirts, and ordering supplies to make sure there are no bottlenecks in getting your stuff to you. 

All of the above tasks are equally important to maintaining a well-oiled e-commerce machine, but some of it can be a bit tedious and/or repetitive, and as much as I adore listening to music, sometimes we need something a bit more engaging to keep us lively and focused on the task(s) at hand — especially during the holiday season when we're printing shirts into the wee hours of the morning for weeks on end and surviving on nothing but Red Bull and KIND Bars. For those tasks, we turn to the strong stuff — podcasts!

The roster of podcasts we listen to runs the gamut, from comedy to news to everything in between. Below is just a small sampling of some of our faves, but the great thing is that pretty much anybody can start a podcast, so new ones are popping up on a daily basis (this is also the not-so-great thing about podcasts — just because you can do a podcast doesn't mean you should 😜).

*Note: with the exception of Stuff You Should Know, pretty much all of the podcasts listed below are varying degrees of NSFW due to language/content (not in OUR workplace, but maybe yours), so make sure to employ headphones the first time you check these out to get a sense of whether coworkers might take offense.

1. For The LOLs:
We love wife-and-wife duo Rhea Butcher and Cameron Esposito's Put Your Hands Together. These two LA comics (by way of Cleveland & Chicago, respectively) always bring on a great line up of funny people, and their show-opening and between-set banter never fails to amuse.

2. For the Learning:
We love Stuff You Should Know, the flagship podcast of the How Stuff Works content network. Hosts Josh Clark & Charles W. "Chuck" Bryant have the sort of winning chemistry and witty banter that can make even a 45-minute overview of Social Security sound compelling.

3. For the Navel Gazing:
You may remember Paul Gilmartin as one of the co-hosts from TBS' Dinner and a Movie, but now he's got a podcast about mental health called The Mental Illness Happy Hour. Paul interviews guests — both listeners and famous people you've heard of — about their mental health struggles. At times both relatable and funny — but also sometimes dark and affecting — this podcast is great for doing a little self reflecting, or at least feeling a little less alone with your own mental health issues.

4. For the Stories:
There are loads of great storytelling podcasts out there, but we always end up coming back to Risk!, hosted & curated by MTV's The State alum Kevin Allison  — it's our favorite. The stories range from bawdy to maudlin to hilarious, so it's a veritable smorgasbord of content.

5. For the Interviews:
Michael Ian Black (another alum of MTV's The State — so much talent in that cast!) interviews fascinating guests on How To Be Amazing. Despite our own preconceived notions about Michael based on his, uh, previous work, he's one of the most incisive and insightful interviewers in the game today.

6. For the Empathy:
Dylan Marron's Conversations With People Who Hate Me is all about dialog with haters. Marron interviews people who've left him mean online comments and tries to get at why they did it and see if they still stand behind what they said. As entrepreneurs who deal with nasty internet comments every single day, we couldn't relate to this podcast more!

7. For Making Sense of the World:
Chris Hayes (of MSNBC fame) has a new podcast titled Why is This Happening? where he tries to break down complex political and global issues in a way the average listener can understand. Whether you want to make sense of WTF is up with the Middle East or why exactly some segments of the population truly have a lot stacked against them, this is the podcast for you. If you're a current events or news junkie you'll love Hayes' ability to dialog with guests in a way that makes the complex a little more digestible.

8. For the Relationship Insights:
Ever fantasized about eavesdropping on someone's therapy session? Now you literally can! Esther Perel's Where Should We Begin? lets you listen in on a different couple's counseling session in each episode. Some eps are relatable, some are just interesting; either way it'll give you a fly-on-the-wall view of couples counseling, and maybe even give you some insight into yourself or sticking points in your own relationships.

9. Wild Card:
We've been obsessed with satirical stand-up comic Theo Von for the last two years. The first time we saw him perform we got about two minutes into his set and looked at one another like "who IS this guy? What a weirdo." Two more minutes and we were dying laughing, desperately wanting to kidnap him, take him home, and just make him talk about anything and everything. Regularly viewing/listening of his This Past Weekend podcast is the next best thing.

Theo's idiosyncratic use of language is entirely unique, and his LA-by-way-of-rural Louisiana perspective on the world — while not always perfectly aligning with our own — is an important one to take note of, and Theo's relentless willingness to have earnest discussions with others and engage in serious self-reflection in an effort to constantly improve himself as a human being are among his most endearing qualities. The fact that his journey of self-improvement and self-discovery come couched in hilarity is just icing on the cake.

If you like Boredwalk, you're bound to find at least some of these podcasts worth a listen. Check 'em out on your next commute or house cleaning day to make the time go a little faster. And if you have podcasts to recommend for us, leave 'em in the comments section!

Hey gang! First, let's dispense with the reactionary grammarians in the audience: octopuses and octopi are both acceptable plural forms of octopus. Octopuses actually has an etymological basis; octopi is just for people who like to sound smart and be critical of everyone else. Good? Good.

Now, forgive me for burying the lede, but have you heard the news out of academia this week? A team of researchers published a paper in the academic journal Progress in Biophysics and Molecular Biology have determined that it is plausible (key word here) that octopuses evolved from cryogenically frozen eggs (or some other form of nascent bio-material) that traveled to Earth via comet/meteor some 270 million years ago via a process called panspermia.

It helps explain why cephalopods seemingly evolved much more rapidly during the "Cambrian explosion" that followed the mass-extinction event that took out the dinosaurs — early octopuses may have traveled to Earth via the very cause of the dinosaurs' destruction, and the conditions of Earth were such that it provided a prime "incubator" in which this frozen genetic material could revive and then thrive.

Photo by Vlad Tchompalov

Whaaa?!? Now, before you start making plans to welcome our new amorphous overlords, keep in mind this is merely conjecture (fancy word for "guess") based on circumstantial evidence by some — no doubt very hard-working — scientists that are probably (definitely) angling for grant money.

But it got us thinking about octopuses and all the cool stuff we DO know about them, as well as some stuff we suppose about them:

• Highest brain-to-body ratio makes it the most intelligent non-vertebrate on the planet, and is more intelligent than many vertebrates.

• Has been shown to be capable of observational learning.

• Have been spotted using old coconut shells to build shelters, a form of tool use.

• Possess instant camouflaging capabilities (like Harry Potter's cloak, but built-in).

• Built-in jet propulsion for fast escape from danger.

• Though some species of octopus are naturally colorblind, some scientists believe that certain species in that group can switch to color vision at will to determine how to best camouflage themselves. The trade-off is lower visual acuity when the octopus's eyes are in color vision "mode".

So to sum it up, octopuses are highly intelligent, tool-using, self-camouflaging super creatures with jet propulsion, quite possibly from outer space.

Want to impress the next octopus you meet? Here are some jokes he might like:

Q. Why are octopuses such good bodyguards?

A. Because they're well armed.

Q. What is 8 x 3.14?

A. Octopi.

Q. Why did the two octopuses look so much alike?

A. Because they're i-tentacle twins.

If you'd like to show your allegiance to the cosmos and/or these amazing cephalopods, feast your eyes on these octopus and space shirts:

 Until next week, peace, love, and space-tacos,

Matt

This week we're a-buzz about bees here at Boredwalk HQ! We even have some new bee-themed tee designs, but we'll get to those later — for now, check out these cool facts about our pollinating pals, as well as our informative Q&A about bees below!

Photo courtesy Jenna Lee

• When we think of bees, we usually think of the European Honey Bee, but there are actually close to 20,000 bee species. Bees live on every continent but Antarctica, in every habitat on the planet that contains insect-pollinated flowering plants. Bees are all over the place!

• Bees, wasps, and hornets kill more people in a year than sharks, alligators, and bears combined. Now THAT is an apex pollinator!

Photo courtesy Edgar Chaparro

• Worker bees live for 4-9 months in the winter, but only 6 weeks in the summer.

• During the summer, queen bees can lay up to 2,500 eggs per day. If that hive's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'!

• Researchers in Croatia trained honey bees to sniff out landmines. The bees were probably good at this because they can detect odors up to nearly three miles away.

• Bees can carry almost half their weight in pollen.

Swole AF, bro.

• Australian bees mummify any beetle that breaks into their hive. Because of course the most bad-ass bee is from Australia. 

Now on to the Q&A portion of this week's blog post:

Q: What do you call a clumsy bee?
A: A fumble bee.

Q: Why did the bee join the dating site?
A: She wanted to find a hub-bee.

Q: Why couldn't the bee drive herself home from the bar?
A: She was too buzzed.

Q: What is a bee's favorite sport?
A: Rug-bee.

Q: What's a bee's favorite reality show?
A: The Real House-hives Of Orange Blossom County.

To learn more about honey bees and how to help ensure their survival — as well as our own! — please visit https://thehoneybeeconservancy.org/

And if you're in the mood to add a little sweetness to your wardrobe, check out these bee-utiful designs!

That's it for this week! Until next time, peace, love, and tacos,

Matt

Hiya! I'm Meredith. I created Boredwalk with my partner Matt. I'm the one who comes up with the ideas for just about everything you see on our website; Matt does most of the designing. Before this was my day job I worked in the tech industry. The main appeal of that job was the solitary nature of that work. In other words, I'm really not a people person.

via GIPHY

When I switched careers to focus on Boredwalk full-time it was because I was burned out on tech work. All those rumors you've heard about it being a misogynistic boys club were 100% true in my experience. I wanted to do something I felt a little more in control of. Basically, I was tired of male bosses who were like "We'd like it if you'd smile more, so we're going to be giving the promotion to the guy in the next office over who spends all day looking at porn and doing no work — you know, because he's got a penis and you don't." Anyway, now I'm the boss and I can scowl all day if I feel like it. Hooray!

via GIPHY

But here's the thing: I didn't do this to become a boss. I kinda hate being a boss. Sure, I don't want someone else to be MY boss, but I don't really relish being the boss of other people. It involves human interaction and all that touchy-feely stuff I'm not all that great with. This led to a lot of hiring mistakes.

When we first started hiring we wrote job posts that looked like every job post you've ever seen. "Graphic Apparel Business Seeking Warehouse Assistant", blah blah blah, BORING! As a result of us writing boring AF job descriptions, we attracted lame AF job applicants.

Half of our scheduled interviewees stood us up. We met some real crazies and started to imagine maybe there just wasn't anyone good to hire. For example, one woman showed up to her interview 20 minutes late, was wearing a see-through low-cut blouse that was beyond distracting, and proceeded to tell us that she'd had a string of unplanned babies in the last 3 years and was now unemployed as a result of being unable to stop socializing on the clock when she had work to do at her previous job. She liked the job we were hiring for because it was a mid-day shift, and she didn't want to get out of bed too early. Yes, seriously; this was the kind of stuff people told us in interviews.

via GIPHY

As a result, we ended up hiring the people we deemed the least offensive options, so we ended up with hires who didn't really care about working here and didn't do a very good job. This put us in a constant cycle of hiring, training, and failing to really build the right team. Because we didn't have very helpful helpers, my partner and I ended up working a lot of crazy hours to pick up the slack. We were tired, resentful, cranky, and felt like we were never going to get out of our predicament. I was in a position where I dreaded coming to work every day at my own company because I was going to be surrounded by people I didn't want to be around. This kind of defeated the whole purpose of starting my own business so I could be happy to come to work.

We were trying all the wrong things to change our situation. I knew we were paying well above average for the kinds of jobs we were filling. I knew we were offering things like bonuses and free lunches and attempting other niceties to make our hires want to be here. The thing is, you can be as generous as possible as a boss, but if you hire the wrong people, dangling all the carrots in the world won't make a difference in their attitude. At the time I didn't totally get this. I chalked the problem up to me being a bad boss and all my inner "you're-not-good-enough" voices were like "YAAASSS!" (Side note: those voices never shut the hell up, and every time I get an angry email from a customer it's like Christmas for those jerks.)

via GIPHY

After a months-long string of 80-hour work weeks and sage but not exactly actionable advice from peers in our industry I had a light bulb moment. What if we just told the truth in our job ads? What if we told people exactly what we want? What if we leveled with people about our extreme introversion and fun but B.S.-free company culture? I had never seen anyone run the kinds of ads I was thinking of running, but I was desperate. One night after midnight, in a haze of martinis, coffee, and exhaustion I wrote this:

The next day I ran my idea by a labor law attorney. She had some edits but generally let me go ahead with the gist of what I wrote. She at least appreciated the humor. I also shared it with some peers in e-commerce. Half of them hated it. "Why would anyone want to work at a company like that?!" a few said. One of them called me "autistic." A few of them were supportive. All of my friends thought it was hilarious and said they'd love to work at a company that ran an ad like this. I decided to go ahead with my advert. At that point I felt like I had nothing to lose and I had to try something radically different. I was sick of being surrounded by bad hires and people who didn't get me.

The replies to my ad came pouring in within minutes of posting it. Some of the respondents were clearly spam-posting their resumes (as is the norm when you deal with job applicants), but a lot of them had actually read what I wrote. We were hearing from a lot of people that seemed to genuinely get us and be really excited about the idea of working at a company like ours. We were getting coherent cover letters with correct punctuation and spelling. We were getting cover letters from people who knew how to use a semicolon! "Let me be the April Ludgate-Dwyer to your Ron Swanson" one applicant wrote. We hired that one.

via GIPHY

We whittled down our applicants to a small pool and spent a week interviewing people. We met people we actually liked. We met people who seemed to get us. We met people who were enthusiastic about our business, ethos, and industry. We set out to hire one person and ended up hiring three!

We're a few months into working with our new team, but so far so good. I actually get to come to work every day with people I want to hang out with and people that like hanging out with each other. We're getting more done and growing at a rate we're excited about instead of being stymied with internal headaches.

I hardly consider myself a captain of industry or a woman who has it all figured out — remember what I said about all those "you're-not-good-enough" voices? I'm figuring it out as I go along, but I wanted to share what goes on behind the scenes because there is a lot that goes into bringing you your new favorite shirt. We're not a faceless corporation; we're normal people like you, doing our best, and trying to get better at our job all the time. I'm sharing this because if you like the stuff we design, maybe you'll like some of the stories about what goes into getting those products to you. If you like what we do, thanks! It means a lot to us. If you hate us and wish we'd go out of business, the "you're-not-good-enough" voices can't wait to hear from you. Sometimes they like to get an afternoon off and they'll be thrilled that you've stopped by to relieve them. Also, I'm not sure why you're even reading this if you hate us. Life is too short to hate-read stuff; go outside and get some fresh air, dude.

Peace, Love, and Tacos,

Meredith

Confession time: After a hectic March we spent a little too much time drowning our sorrows on the couch drinking beers & martinis and not enough time exercising and eating our veggies. Feeling a little doughy around the middle of late, we've decided to be a little more careful with what we're eating. This doesn't mean we're going to eat nothing but rice cakes & celery or totally abandon donuts & tacos, but it does mean spending a little more quality time with our running shoes and whole food, plant-based meals.

This week we decided to whip up some Buddha Bowls inspired by Bánh Mìs, our favorite Asian sandwiches (though a yummy tofu bao runs a very close second). However, since we're aiming for healthy we skipped the bread and went with cauliflower rice instead. This dish ended up being so perfectly flavorful, crunchy, and delicious that we didn't even miss the bun!

If you couldn't tell from a quick tour around our website, we love animals here at Boredwalk! From dogs to cats to desert tortoises (yes, you read that right) our team adores our companion animals! After a long day of designing, printing, packing, email writing, and answering customer service emails & messages there are few things we all enjoy more than opening our doors at home and being greeted by our fuzzy, feathered, and/or scaly friends!

That's why we'll be donating $1 to the Humane Society from the sale of all of our animal-themed shirts all month long! April is Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Month and what better way to honor our friends than by helping their friends?

Meredith and I are big proponents of rescue organizations in general: we adopted our dear departed Sadie (above) from Last Chance Animal Rescue in Jessup, MD, and our pride & joy Oliver (below) from the Maryland SPCA in Baltimore, MD.

Now, they can't all be strikes. Sometime you roll a gutterball, like we did with this bitey ingrate:

But you know what they say: you gotta take the bad with the good. Which we get, but I mean, come on — does the bad have to be soooo bad? J/k, Bigs (but not really. Stop biting us, dammit!)

Anyway, I digress — why the Humane Society? Well, you and the rest of our customers live all over the U.S. (and some outside it — hi, Benedikte!), and the Humane Society is a national organization that supports the mission of shelters and rescue organizations across the country via training, best practices, and funding, but largely by tackling animal cruelty and animal rights cases that are too big for local organizations to resolve by themselves — they're kinda like the animal rights National Guard.

We want to donate these funds to an entity that we're confident will be able to spread those dollars around in such a way that all our customers can know that they're chipping in locally in a small way, rather than going to a single local entity.

Anyway, if you (or your friends & family) are in need of some fresh animal lover shirts there's no better time to stock up while also supporting a worthy cause!

Peace, love, and purrs,

Matt

You know all those cliches about comedians being depressed and artists struggling with mental illness? Well, in my experience they're mostly true. Living in Los Angeles — arguably the creative capital of the world — I'm surrounded by some of the most simultaneously talented AND self-loathing people I've ever met. In other words, I'm in good company in LA! One thing that never fails to make me laugh is poking fun at my perennial state of ennui. So this week I've rounded up some of my favorite existentialist and nihilist humor from around the web.

 1. KimKierkegaardashian
This Twitter account is an amusing mash up of Kim Kardashian and Søren Kierkegaard. Here are a few choice picks:

2. Nihilisa Frank
This funny Tumblr is Lisa Frank meets nihilism. 80s kids will especially get a kick out of this one. Here are a few of Nihilisa Frank's greatest hits:

3. Texts From Your Existentialist
This amusing Instagram account captions classic pop art with existentialist texts. Here are a few of our faves:

 4. Nihilist Arby's
A Twitter account where fast food and the gaping void collide. Here are a few selections:

More of an overall collection of pop art, this Tumblr/Instagram account is full of dark humor that veers into existentialism, nihilism, and just good old-fashioned self-loathing we can all relate to. Or maybe that's just me? Here are a few of our favorites:

6. Cats with Melancholy
The inner monologue of cats with an existentialist flavor.

Got melancholy? Here are a few of Boredwalk's sentiments from the void that would look great on you while you contemplate your meaningless existence!

Until next time...

Peace, love, and unyielding ennui,

Boredwalk