Happy National Poetry Day! Here's a little frightening verse from yours truly:

There once was a man from Nantucket
whose shirt was too short to tuck it
To keep his bare belly
from becoming too chilly
He bought a fresh zip-up and loved it!

THEN YOU ARE AMONG FRIENDS! 🤪

Happy National Coffee Day! People often refer to coffee as an "acquired taste," which it very well is — when I first started drinking it sporadically in high school I had to add so much sugar to make it palatable to my unsophisticated taste buds that the caffeine content may as well have been an afterthought. Those granules of sucrose were definitely doing the heavy lifting.

Nowadays, though, I like my coffee as bitter as my cold, dead heart.

That is EXACTLY what it's like, Kenneth.

Before we get to notable birthdays, a quick little announcement:

I know that the Weird Wednesday email is typically a sales-free zone, but I would be remiss (and a bad businessperson) if I didn't mention that starting around midnight on Friday morning and running through 11:59PM Sunday night, Boredwalk will be running a flash sale for zip-up hoodies! We'll be offering a selection of twelve of our designs on super-soft and cozy zippered versions of the hoodies so many Boredwalk customers have come to know and love over the last few years. Maybe this appeals to you; maybe it doesn't. I don't know your life! But it is a thing that is happening this weekend, and now you know.

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Alright, let's have some cake in honor of some famous people and one car!

• Kevin Durant, basketball superstar and MVP of memes, born this day in 1988!

• Jerry Lee Lewis, piano-pounding rock 'n' roll pioneer, born this day in 1935! Best known for early rock classic 'Great Balls of Fire' and icky relationship choices.

• Russell Peters, Canadian comedy legend, born this day in 1970!

• Cindy Morgan, actress and producer, born this day in 1954! Folks of a certain age may know her best from her roles as Lacey Underall in Caddyshack and Lora/Yori in the original Tron film.

• Singer and songwriter Ashley Nicolette "Halsey" Frangipane, born this day in 1994! I am not familiar with her music, but I am familiar with frangipane, because they love that stuff on The Great British Baking Show.

• Writer Miguel de Cervantes, born this day in 1547! Best known for his novel Don Quixote, I happen to think his best piece of writing was this description he wrote of his physical appearance (since no authenticated portrait of him exists): "This person whom you see here, with an oval visage, chestnut hair, smooth open forehead, lively eyes, a hooked but well-proportioned nose, and silvery beard that twenty years ago was golden, large moustache, small mouth, teeth not much to speak of, for he has only six, in bad condition and worse placed, no two of them corresponding to each other, a figure midway between the two extremes, neither tall nor short, a vivid complexion, rather fair than dark, somewhat stooped in the shoulders, and not very lightfooted." Sounds like a fairly bleak dental situation, but points for such an elaborate description!

• Gene Autry, country singer and television entertainer, born this day in 1907!

• Enrico Fermi, physicist and creator of the world's first nuclear reactor, born this day in 1901!

• Madeline Kahn, actress, singer, and comedian, born this day in 1942! Ms Kahn was best known for her comedic roles in Mel Brooks classics like Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, and History of the World, Part I. Whatever you do, don't crush her taffeta, darling.

• The Chevrolet Camaro, classic American muscle car, which first went on sale this day in 1966! I've never owned, driven, or been a passenger in one, but I hear they're pretty bitchin'.

Alright, you've waited long enough — let's get to some fun links!

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1. Illustrator Jeff Lee Johnson somehow makes the scary and vaguely uncomfortable pleasing to the eye!

While I (naturally) enjoy Johnson's horror gallery most — sort of like a mash-up of H.P. Lovecraft and Edward Hopper — all of his pieces are worthy of a gander.

2. Design prankster Igor Lipchanskiy has some fun with classic album art!

Plenty of stuff to laugh at here, but my fave might be the "kick me" sign on Bruce Springsteen's rugged tush.

3. Just in time for Spooky Season, check out this explainer video of the many linguistic euphemisms for death!

Dr. Erica Brozovsky gives us a rundown of the best ways to address the 900 lb. reaper in the mortuary without actually invoking it, lest it turn its attention toward us.

4. French artist Kyès places modern celebrities in a classical context with his digital paintings, and the results are visually scrumptious!

It's tough to pinpoint my favorite, but I'm leaning toward the rendering of late actor James Gandolfini from The Sopranos — the depth achieved with the lighting is an excellent nod to the Dutch masters.

5. Looking for a relaxing getaway? Then you should probably avoid these feline forts.

Look, I'm not advocating for using coarse language when addressing your catty companions, but if the kitten mitten fits...

6. BONUS: Give a listen to Boredwalk owner and co-founder Meredith, who called in to the Tiny Victories podcast with a victory of her own to share!

Fun fact: Tiny Victories is co-hosted by hilarious comedian and writer Laura House, who sometimes reads these emails (hi, Laura!), and writer, actress, television host, and activist Annabelle Gurwitch, who you might know from TBS's long-running show Dinner and a Movie, which got me through many a lonely Friday night during my first year of college.

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OK! Hopefully these little diversions helped to brighten your day! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more random holidays, celebrity birthdays, a new episode of the Boredwalk Podcast, and details on that flash sale I mentioned up top! Until then...

Peace, love, and coffee jitters,

Matt

WEAR A RED HOODIE, NATURALLY

Happy National Punctuation Day! Somewhere out there your middle school English teacher is pouring one out for the commas and semicolons that got away.

Me too, Moira, but we're talking COMMAS right now. We'll get to comas another time.

No new art this week but we are working on some new stuff that will be out in October. I also wanted to let you know that the most anticipated Boredwalk flash sale of the year starts ONE WEEK from today, so stay tuned for sneak peeks and an announcement when the sale goes live. It will feature a collection of some of our taller designs on the backs of zip up hoodies!

If that doesn't tickle your fancy, though, please consider purchasing...literally anything else from Boredwalk you've had your eye on lately. The last week has been particularly rough, what with Apple and Facebook fighting each other like Godzilla and Ghidorah, with small businesses like us getting trampled underfoot. No pressure, though.

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Alright! If you're in a spending mood this weekend — like, say, buying that rad Oxford Comma hoodie up top — don't forget to use the code YAY10 at checkout to save 10% on orders of $100 or more! You can also get free US shipping on orders of $75 or more!

We'll be back here in your inbox next week with — hopefully — a fresh Boredwalk Community Q&A with a fan just like you! (Reply to this email now if you'd like to volunteer and I'll send you some fun questions!) We'll also have a new podcast episode to share, and our next flash sale! Until then...

Peace, love, and punctuation,

Matt

MAYBE YOU COULD USE SOME MELTY GOOEY COMFORT FOOD

It's National String Cheese Day and National Queso Day! Whether you're feeling nostalgic for your favorite grade school lunchbox treat or want to dip chips into some warm savory goodness, today's national occasions are decidedly cheesy. Mac and Cheese is still my favorite cheese-based indulgence, but any fromage in a storm will do, amirite?

Me too, Keegan, me too.

September 20th is also the anniversary of The Battle of the Sexes. It was on this day in 1973 that Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs in a mixed gender tennis match, after Riggs claimed he could beat any female tennis player. King took home $100,000 in prize money and the match was and still is one of the most viewed tennis matches on television — it was watched by about 90 million people around the world!

Finally, Chag Sameach to those of you celebrating Sukkot today!

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Alright, birthday time! Today we are honoring:

Author, activist, and Pulitzer Prize winner Upton Sinclair, born today in 1878! Sinclair wrote nearly 100 books and other works in several genres, but is probably best known for his 1906 muck-raking novel The Jungle, which exposed horrifying labor and sanitation conditions in the U.S. meatpacking industry, causing a public uproar that contributed in part to the passage a few months later of the 1906 Pure Food and Drug Act and the Meat Inspection Act.

Writer and television producer George R.R. Martin, born this day in 1948! Martin is best known for his series of epic fantasy novels A Song of Ice and Fire, which was adapted into the Emmy Award-winning HBO series Game of Thrones.

Birthday shoutouts are also due for actors Sophia Loren, Asia Argento, and Kristen Johnston. Lastly, a happy birthday to news and political commentator Van Jones.

OK! Scroll on down for a fun Boredwalk Community Q&A with Amber R.! We'll be back in your inbox on Wednesday morning with links to fun distractions! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email, reply to this and let me know! If you're looking to do some early holiday shopping this week, be sure to use the code YAY10 at checkout to save 10% on orders of $100 or more! Until next time...

Peace, love, and cheese,

Meredith

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Amber looking ready to seize the night in her Carpe Noctem scoop-neck fleece!

1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?

I'm an SEO Copywriter and Web Developer, but my dream day job is author — I write contemporary fiction filled with nerdy references and merciless sarcasm. Someday I'll be published. (What do you mean I have to get off Twitter and finish my edits to accomplish that? Ugh, fine. I'll do it, but I won't like it.)

2. What's your biggest pet peeve?

People calling me Amanda. OK, it's a totally self-centered pet peeve but it happens constantly — in person, emails, whatever. My name is IN my work email address and they still get it wrong.

(Ed. note: I don't think this is self-centered at all. If they want your attention that badly, the least they can do is address you by your actual name!)

3. What's the most useful piece of advice you've ever received?

Never follow the recipe exactly. Cooking is meant to be from the heart, not by the book. (Advice does not apply to baking, which is quite literally chemistry.)

4. If you could have any superpower what would it be and why?

The ability to speak any language fluently.

5. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?

Squeaky soles on every pair of shoes they buy, ever. This was the number one reason people returned their shoes to the store where I worked. 

6. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?

Traveling anywhere and everywhere; I want to see the world. But, if I had to pick one location, my #1 dream trip would be to visit Morocco.

7. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about).

I'm from Vermont, and people assume we're all just out here drinking maple syrup, eating cheddar, hanging out with cows, and making all kinds of whacky craft beer. I'm here to clear this up once and for all. Oh, wait. Sorry, this information is 100% accurate, no lies detected.

8. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?

On Twitter @ARobertsWrites and my writing blog or curled up in a comfy armchair reading.

MOSTLY THAT SEPTEMBER 15TH SHOULD BE ASKING US FOR FORGIVENESS

Happy National Online Learning Day! Here's what I learned online today: there are LOTS of random holidays that fall on September 15th, and none* of them are particularly interesting. Linguine? Cheese Toast? School Backpack Awareness? Creme de Menthe? Felt hats? GET IT TOGETHER, SEPTEMBER 15th!

*No offense if you're observing Yom Kippur today. In fact, g’mar chatima tova if you are! But you should also probably not be on the internet today, since it's full of pictures of food and sexy people and leather shoes and ads for lotions and scented oils. The internet is basically a minefield of Leviticus-flouting temptations.

Fun fact: when you search "yom kippur" on Giphy, all the results are about being hungry and asking for forgiveness. Way to go, algorithm! #NailedIt

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Before we get to this week's amusing links let's celebrate a few September 15th birthdays!

Scribes: James Fenimore Cooper (1789) and Agatha Christie (1890)

Sportsballers: Dan Marino (1961)

Scandalous Royals: Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex (1984)

Screenwriters: Oliver Stone (1946)

Stout POTUSes: William Howard Taft (1857)

Sapersteins: Parks And Rec actor Ben "Jean-Ralphio Saperstein" Schwartz (1981)

Alright, you've waited long enough — let's get to some fun links!

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1. Sand sculptures that are stunningly lifelike!

Artist Andoni Bastarrika makes amazing sculptures out of sand, and the level of detail (and amount of time he spends working with such an ephemeral medium) is truly remarkable.

2. Food that's fit for a hobbit, or a time lord, or a flesh-eating monster.

Austin, Texas-based freelance writer Chris-Rachael Oseland moonlights as a culinary dynamo, whipping up all sorts of fandom-themed baked goods. Enjoy!

3. Weird internet videos are kinda what the internet is all about.

This deep dive into the artistry behind the lo-fi gems the internet has given us over the last few decades is a treasure trove of weirdness that really hits the spot, creatively speaking.

4. A Freddie Mercury/Pee-wee Herman mashup? Yes, please!

If you've ever wondered what it might sound like if Freddie fronted The Champs doing their hit song 'Tequila', wonder no more!

5. "Human salsa." That is all.

Watch out for those dive-bombing donkeys!

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OK! Hopefully these little diversions helped to brighten your day! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more random holidays, celebrity birthdays, and some other fun treats! Until then...

Peace, love, and learning things online,

Mat