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WE GOT YOU, FAM 👆🏽

Happy National Cookie Exchange Day! Now THIS is a holiday we can all get behind! Whether you're in the mood for mandelbrot & hamantaschen, of the pagan persuasion and feeling peckish for Moon Spell cookies in observance of Yule, or more inclined to nosh on Christmas tree spritzes and gingerbread men, women, and non-binary persons, indulge in the spirit of the season with an interfaith culinary exchange!

December 22nd is also National Short Person Day, which is a holiday we can all get beneath — give your vertically-challenged pals an assist by grabbing something out of their reach or putting them on your shoulders today. Particularly if it's an ingredient in the pantry or at the store they'll need to bake those cookies you'll be benefiting from!

Technically every day is Short Person Day in my household. Boredwalk's co-founder & CEO Meredith is petite, and as she reminds me every time she yells across the house for me to get something high-up only to be reminded by me that there is a step stool closer to her than I am, the day she married me is the day she forever bid adieu to the tyranny of the step stool. Interestingly, that little tidbit was conveniently omitted from her vows.

Which is to your benefit, Nicole Richey! You would be horrified by the amount of dust up here.

GIF via Candidly Nicole / VH1

In Boredwalk housekeeping (and general shipping) news, if you were hoping to order something today and receive it in time for Christmas, I have good and bad news.

First, the bad news: only a few of us are here at the office today, and only for about half the day, which is going to limit the number of packages we're able to pack up and hand off to USPS. Even if YOUR package is one of the lucky ones, it's unlikely it will get to you in time unless you live in the Los Angeles area. Even then I wouldn't count on it.

But like the soft light of an Advent wreath or Menorah, a ray of hope exists: As depicted at the top of this email, we sell electronic gift cards! You could literally buy one as your relatives are walking in the door for the gift exchange. If you're just kinda so-so about them, simply forward the order confirmation email containing the gift card code to their best address.

If you love them dearly enough to spare the ink and saliva, print it out on the ancient inkjet your mom or dad insist on keeping around, fold it crisply, and present it to them in whichever holiday card you hastily grabbed on your way over to the agreed upon site of said gift exchange.

Regardless of effort level, it's the thought that counts!

If you'd rather celebrate yourself by engaging in some retail therapy, don't forget to use code SAVE15 at checkout for 15% off orders of $95+, not to mention free U.S. shipping on orders of $75+ — no code needed!

Finally, we are of course closed on Monday in observance of the Christmas holiday. I mean, you can (and should) still shop our website — it's not like we're turning it OR the internet off — but we won't be responding to emails, voicemails, or most other forms of communication until we are back in the office during regular business hours on Tuesday. Except to ridicule trolls leaving unkind comments on our social media posts and ads. Trolls never take days off.

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While you're waiting for your new Boredwalk goodies to arrive (or for those cookies to bake) you can also treat your earholes to the latest episode of the Boredwalk Podcast! Click here to listen on your favorite podcasting platform!

This week Meredith and Boredwalk content creator Tess discuss Tess's ailing kitty Jasper's recent tummy troubles and Meredith's and my foster cat menagerie. So many cats to help, so little time!

Meredith also talks a bit about the new products Boredwalk has in store for 2024, holiday plans (or lack thereof), and the great job Boredwalk's operations staff did getting stuff shipped out quickly this season. Huzzah!

Seriously, if you were paying attention to your tracking the last couple months — and didn't order something weird like a purple or mint green t-shirt that we had to order the blank for from out of state before we could print on it — you probably noticed that your order shipped the same or next business day from the time you completed checkout.

On the flip side of that, there's a troll fail that is unintentionally funny because his misogynistic comment was not the burn he thought it would be given the context. Better luck next time, troll!

However, it does spark an interesting discussion on aging, ageism, and sexist double-standards about aging propped up by tired patriarchal narratives.

They then react to fan responses to the Question of the Day "what's a topic you can't seem to understand no matter how much anyone tries to explain it?" Answers ranged from arguments against veganism to pro sports salaries to cryptocurrency to fax machines to contribution margins in business to the stock market. We and our social media followers contain multitudes!

Meredith & Tess wrap up by trading questions from the Venting & Joy editions of the Delve Deck, answering "what mistake do you keep making that you never seem to learn from?" and "what makes you feel most fulfilled?" Listen to find out their answers!

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Alright! Let's send you off into the holiday weekend with some notable events and famous birthdays from December 22nds of yore! If that includes yours, happy birthday to you! Celebrate with a cookie!

• In 1808 Ludwig van Beethoven conducted & performed in concert the premiere of his Fifth Symphony (aka the "Duh-duh-duh-DUH, duh-duh-duh-DUH" song), one of the most famous compositions of classical music in history, if not THE most famous.

• In 2010, then-President Barack Obama signed into law the repeal of the U.S. military's 17-year-old Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy banning homosexuals from serving openly. Huzzah!

• Birthday cookies all around for: 38th First Lady of the United States Lady Bird Johnson (1912), actress Barbara "June Cleaver" Billingsley of Leave It to Beaver fame (1915), singer-songwriter, guitarist, and bowtie enthusiast Rick Nielsen of 1970s power-poppers Cheap Trick (1948), English singer-songwriters Maurice & Robin Gibb of The Bee Gees (1949), rapper Luther Campbell of 2 Live Crew fame (1960), English actor Ralph Fiennes of Schindler's List, The English Patient, The Hurt Locker, and recent James Bond film fame (1962), Welsh singer-songwriter & guitarist Richey Edwards of Manic Street Preachers fame (1967), and singer-songwriter & producer Meghan Trainor of "All About That Bass" fame (1993)

• Pour one out for: English publisher John Newbery of Newbery Medal fame (d. 1767). Newbery more or less created the children's literature category by demonstrating it could be a successful and sustainable segment of the broader literary market. Also pay respect to English novelist Mary Ann "George Eliot" Evans of Middlemarch and Silas Marner fame (d. 1880), blues singer Ma Rainey (d. 1939), English children's book writer & illustrator Beatrix Potter of Peter Rabbit fame (d. 1943), punk rock singer-songwriter & guitarist D. Boon of The Minutemen (d. 1985), Irish author, poet, and playwright Samuel Beckett of Waiting For Godot fame (d. 1989), English singer-songwriter, guitarist, and punk icon Joe Strummer of The Clash (d. 2002), English singer-songwriter Joe Cocker (d. 2014), actress & voice actor Christine Cavanaugh, who was the original voice of Chuck Finster on Rugrats (d. 2014), and spiritual teacher, author, and psychonaut Ram Dass (d. 2019)

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OK, that's it for this week! We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with another email — because everybody deserves to receive something fun on Christmas Day regardless of religious affiliation, even if it's just a rambling, snarky email — and MAYBE a fresh customer Q&A! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email reply to this and let us know!

Peace, love, and cookies,

Matt

THANKS, IT'S LICE FEVER!🤢

Happy National Sangria Day! Why December 20th was selected to celebrate an iced beverage is beyond me, but then it was just seven days ago that Big Ice Cream tried to horn in on wintry foodstuffs' turf, so I can't say I'm that surprised.

However, I was surprised to learn that sangria and mulled wine are both derived from the ancient Greek & Roman drink hippocras and that it's totally normal to drink warm sangria this time of year. The more you know!

Today is also Sacagawea Day, which is great — we should definitely pay respect to the young woman who helped the Lewis & Clark expedition navigate the lands "purchased" by the U.S. from France in 1803 that were in no way stolen from indigenous peoples.* Less great is that we celebrate Sacagawea on the day of her death by *checks notes* "putrid fever," which is apparently the catchier nickname of louse-borne typhus. Grrrr-osss.

* This is sarcasm. They were definitely stolen from indigenous peoples by a succession of white European land speculators masquerading as governments. Don't @ me.

That would be the lice typhus, Squidward. Keep up!

GIF courtesy of SpongeBob SquarePants / Nickelodeon

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Alright, before we get to those links let's acknowledge some notable events and famous birthdays from December 20ths of yore. Maybe yours! If it is, happy birthday!

• In 1803 the aforementioned Louisiana "Purchase" was completed at a ceremony in New Orleans

• In 1940 Captain America Comics #1, featuring Captain America's first appearance, was published

• In 1946 It's a Wonderful Life premiered at New York's Globe Theatre to mixed reviews

• In 2019 the *sigh* United States Space Force (🙄) became the first new branch of the U.S. military since 1947

• Birthday treats all around for: Singer-songwriter, drummer, and producer Peter Criss of KISS fame (1945), Israeli-English mentalist & illusionist Uri Geller (1946), TV director, producer, and screenwriter Dick Wolfe of Law & Order fame (1946), English actress Jenny Agutter of Logan's Run, An American Werewolf in London, and Captain America: The Winter Soldier fame (1952), disco and R&B singer Anita Ward (1956), English singer-songwriter & guitarist Billy Bragg (1957), singer-songwriter & bassist Mike Watt of punk icons The Minutemen (1957), bassist Jackie Fox of The Runaways (1959), singer-songwriter & guitarist Chris Robinson of The Black Crowes (1966), and actor & filmmaker Jonah Hill (1983)

• Pour some sangria out for: Explorer and guide Sacagawea of Oregon Trail and dollar coin fame (d. 1812), novelist & Nobel Prize laureate John Steinbeck of The Grapes of Wrath, East of Eden, and Of Mice and Men fame (d. 1968), banker, businessman, and Walt Disney Co. co-founder Roy Disney (d. 1971), singer-songwriter & actor Bobby Darin of "Splash Splash," "Dream Lover," "Mack the Knife," and "Beyond the Sea" fame (d. 1973), Polish-American pianist & composer Arthur Rubinstein (d. 1982), astronomer, astrophysicist, cosmologist, and educator Carl Sagan (d. 1996), and actress & singer Brittany Murphy of Clueless, Freeway, Girl, Interrupted, 8 Mile, and King of the Hill fame (d. 2009)

Now on to the amusing links!

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1. 🧙🏾‍♀️ Speaking of Louisiana...

In the second episode of our new YouTube series Women's Rights and Women's Wrongs, Tess from Boredwalk's content creator team presents a mini-documentary about New Orleans hairdresser and (alleged) voodoo witch Marie Laveau!

We have a few more episodes in the works, but for this to become an ongoing series please watch, subscribe to our channel, and share it far & wide with anyone you think would appreciate our humorous historical takes!

For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.

2. 👴🏼 Parents just don't understand

Creator Pat Mandziy takes us on a trip through time. Turns out parents have never understood their kids!

3. 🎁 Well I didn't see THIS coming

This is neither intentionally hilarious or even mildly amusing, but I do find it... humorously fascinating? ... that scientist Katie Steckles found a way to combine two of my least favorite things in a 59-second video demonstrating how to wrap gifts more efficiently using math. Gift wrapping AND math? At the same time?! Come on, Katie!

4. 🎄 I don't see it dominating the charts, but it's worth a look/listen

DJ Cummerbund creatively mashed up a smorgasbord of holiday standards — primarily José Feliciano's "Feliz Navidad", but also featuring contributions from Wham!, Rob Zombie, Rush, and more — with Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell." I can't say it improves on any of the source material, but it's certainly interesting and timely!

5. 🙇🏽 Stuck in a rut and unsure how to move forward in life?

Josh has the answer: start a cult!

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OK! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...

Peace, love, and sangria,

Matt

WELL FRIEND... THAT ALL DEPENDS ON YOU

Happy National Twin Day! Shout out to my brothers Rob & Tom, who are fraternal twins AND about to celebrate their shared birthday eight days from now! After three-ish decades you would think they'd have gotten over receiving Christmas/birthday combo gifts from their cheap older brother... but you'd be wrong. Maybe I should send them each a Grievance Journal to complain about it in?

Speaking of which, it is crunch time here at Boredwalk HQ. We are working feverishly today and tomorrow to get as many orders packed up and handed off to USPS as possible to make some holiday miracles happen (even for the procrastinators who don't deserve it).

If you count yourself amongst said procrastinators, please don't dawdle and just order some of our books and/or Delve Decks right now so we can get them out the door as quickly as possible. You can still order our tees, towels, tank tops, bags, or sweatshirts of course, but I would not count on them to arrive before next Monday at this point. I mean, anything can happen — they might — but it's kind of like expecting Joe Flacco to come out of retirement* and be a productive quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. It's something of a... what's the term I'm looking for... ah yes: a Hail Mary. 

* Technically he wasn't "retired," but being a 38 year-old QB sitting un-signed at home halfway through the season also doesn't scream "gainfully employed."

I kid because I love, Browns fans. You've suffered plenty and deserve nice things!

GIF via The Simpsons / FOX

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Be sure to use code SAVE15 at checkout for 15% off orders of $95 or more, and don't forget that U.S. shipping is FREE for orders of $75 or more!

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Alright! Let's kick off the week with a few famous December 18th birthdays and historical facts:

• In 1892 Tchaikovsky's ballet The Nutcracker was performed for the first time in Saint Petersburg, Russia

• In 1932 the Chicago Bears defeated the Portsmouth Spartans in the first ever NFL playoff game to win the NFL Championship. 

• Birthday cake all around for: Actor & filmmaker Ossie Davis of Do The Right Thing, Grumpy Old Men, and Bubba Ho-Tep fame (1917), English singer-songwriter, guitarist, and indestructible rock 'n' roll pirate Keith Richards of Rolling Stones fame (1943), South African anti-apartheid activist Steve Biko (1946), filmmaker Steven Spielberg (1946), lead guitarist Elliot Easton of new wave legends The Cars (1953), actor Ray Liotta of Field of Dreams and Goodfellas fame (1954), actor Brad Pitt of Moneyball fame (1963), pro wrestler and beer enthusiast Stone Cold Steve Austin (1964), Australian actress Rachel Griffiths of Six Feet Under fame (1968), actor Casper Van Dien of Starship Troopers fame (1968), rapper & actor DMX (1970), Australian singer-songwriter Sia (1975), actress Katie Holmes of Dawson's Creek and Go fame (1978), singer-songwriter Christina Aguilera (1980), and singer-songwriter Billie Eilish (2001)

• Pour one out for: Legendary comedian and actor Chris Farley of Saturday Night Live, Tommy Boy, Black Sheep, and Beverly Hills Ninja fame (d. 1997), British singer-songwriter Kirsty MacColl of "Fairytale of New York" fame (d. 2000), animation icon Joseph Barbera of Hanna-Barbera fame (d. 2006), actress & producer Majel Barrett of Star Trek and Star Trek: The Next Generation fame (d. 2008), and Hungarian-American actress & socialite Zsa Zsa Gabor of Moulin Rouge, Touch of Evil, and Queen of Outer Space fame (d. 2016)

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OK, scroll on down to learn a bit about fellow Boredwalk fan Kelly! If you're feeling even moderately outgoing and would like to be featured in an upcoming Monday email (and are a customer with some Boredwalk tees, tanks, hoodies, towels, bags, books, or Delve Decks to show off), just reply to this and let us know and we'll send you some fun questions!

We'll be back here in your inbox on Wednesday with some more random holidays to observe, historical tidbits to acknowledge, and fun links to entertaining content! Until next time...

Peace, love, and for-the-love-of-cats-stop-procrastinating-and-order,

Matt

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Kelly looking cozy in her Have The Day You Deserve hoodie!

• What's your dream job?

My dream job would be a public health research librarian. I love constantly reading and learning new things; connecting people with information, tools, and resources; and sharing the field of public health with new folks.

• What's your biggest pet peeve?

When people eat loudly. There is seriously no need for slurping, smacking, gobbling, guzzling, munching, or any other ridiculous noises. PLEASE NO!!!

• If you could have any super power what would it be and why?

My superpower of choice would be teleportation. It would be awesome to be able to see my favorite people and friends more frequently and to be able to attend all the important moments in people's lives. Also, I have had an average of a three-hour round-trip commute to work for most of my adult life, so it would be awesome to eliminate that!

• You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?

A pesky eyelid twitch that lasted every day for all waking hours.

• If you could make a mundane wish (meaning, a wish for something seemingly inconsequential that you still believe would benefit you immensely), what would it be for?

My mundane wish would be to eliminate other folks' need to fill silent times with small talk, because… silence is okay! Mindless small talk takes my "peopling gauge" from F to E in two minutes.

• What is something you wish you could go back in time and say to your younger self?

Embrace who you are and not attempt to conform to the environments around you. Your people are out there, and you will find them. Be you and be proud of all of the pieces of you.

NOT REALLY, BUT ALSO SORT OF?

Happy National Cupcake Day! Here's a fun little fact I discovered while researching content for today's email: Even though they've been kicking around in some form since the late 1700s, it wasn't until the 1950s when Winston Churchill of all people first suggested cupcakes be frosted! Who knew that gruff old curmudgeon was such a softy for sweets?

While we're at it, happy National Lemon Cupcake Day! Apparently these dainty cakes fancy a bit of double-dipping on December 15th. Despite lemon being a flavor commonly associated with summertime, winter is prime citrus season when lemons are at peak deliciousness, so we'll allow it.

Finally, happy National Regifting Day! If you were on the receiving end of a less-than-desirable tribute courtesy of a recent white elephant gift exchange, consider regifting it to someone who may appreciate it more so you can make room for something you REALLY want (like, say, some Boredwalk merch *hint hint*).

I encourage you to act with haste, though — because of how the calendar shook out this year, the 25th is one week from Monday, so you're cutting it close! We can ship out our Delve Decks, Grievance Journals, and activity books "lickety-split" as the young kids say,* but printing the towels, tees, bags, and hoodies takes longer since those aren't just sitting on a shelf waiting to packed up. We print all those to order about 50 feet from where I'm typing! Bear this in mind while you're loading up your virtual Santa sack this morning and over the weekend!

* Don't dispute my knowledge of youth slang — I know what's hip! By the way, would you care for a butterscotch? It's warm from being in my cardigan pocket all day!

And don't forget to use code SAVE15 at checkout for 15% off orders of $95+, not to mention free U.S. shipping on orders of $75+ — no code needed!

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In a bittersweet episode, I bid farewell to Josh Patton from Boredwalk's content team. Apparently making funny videos wearing cool shirts is not as compelling as Josh's plan to become a super-powered grasshopper who farms cannabis and moonlights as the President of the United States. Dream big if you're going to dream at all!

We then discuss the cognitive dissonance of people who get upset that creators usually have jobs making content for multiple brands in order to make ends meet, internet trolls who don't understand how satire & parody work, and read a nice review from Cindy W. about how much she loves her Grievance Journal!

We then react to fan responses to the recent Question of the Day "What job doesn't exist now, but will probably exist in the future?" Answers ranged from 'viable 3rd party candidates' to 'emotional support humans for AI chatbots' to the aforementioned super-powered insectoid cannabis farmers.

We wrap things up by trading questions from our newly released Delve Deck expansions!

From the Venting Edition, "What are you too hard on yourself about?" and from the Joy Edition, "What's the luckiest thing that ever happened to you?" Have a listen to find out our answers!

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Alright! Let's send you off into the weekend with some notable events and famous birthdays from December 15ths of yore! If that includes yours, happy birthday to you! Celebrate with a cupcake!

• In 1791 the United States Bill of Rights — the collective nickname for the first 10 amendments to the U.S. Constitution — became law when it was ratified by the Virginia General Assembly

• In 1973 the American Psychiatric Association voted unanimously (13-0) to remove homosexuality from its official list of psychiatric disorders, which is definitely worth celebrating — perhaps also with cupcakes!

• Birthday cupcakes all around for: Roman emperor & fiddle enthusiast Nero (37), French architect & engineer Gustave Eiffel of Parisian tower fame (1832), author & playwright Betty Smith of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn fame (1896), radio host, DJ, and rock 'n' roll evangelist Alan Freed (1921), English drummer & songwriter Dave Clark of The Dave Clark Five (1939), English singer-songwriter & bassist Paul Simonon of The Clash (1955), actress Helen Slater of The Secret of My Success, The Legend of Billie Jean, and Supergirl fame (1963), actor Adam Brody of The O.C. fame (1979), and English actor Charlie Cox of Daredevil fame (1982)

• Pour one out for: Dutch painter Johannes Vermeer (d. 1675), English chemist Alfred Bird of inventing baking powder fame (d. 1878; thanks for the cupcake, Al!), Hunkpapa Lakota tribal chief Sitting Bull (d. 1890), singer-songwriter & pianist Fats Waller (d. 1943), bandleader, composer, and trombonist Glenn Miller (d. 1944), animator Walt Disney (d. 1966), and English-American essayist & critic Christopher Hitchens (d. 2011)

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OK, that's it for this week! We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with another email and a fresh customer Q&A! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email reply to this and let us know!

Peace, love, and cupcakes,

Matt

HOLD YOUR HORSES

Happy National Cocoa Day!

December 13th is certainly a fitting day to celebrate the best wintry beverage this side of mulled wine and/or nog.

Less fitting is National Cream Cheese Frosting Day, but it's delicious so I guess it can hang.

Not remotely fitting at all is National Ice Cream Day. You already get the third Sunday in July, Big Ice Cream! Don't be greedy!

If you are equinely inclined, today is also National Horse Day, when we recognize the economic, historic, and cultural contributions of horses. Like the tail hairs they so graciously donate to the bows used to play and celebrate...

National Violin Day! I hope your day is filled with the dulcet tones of an elementary school orchestra recital! Tell little Magnus and/or Mathilde they nailed the concerto, even if it really sounded like Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music on downers.

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Alright, before we get to those links, let's take note of some famous birthdays from December 13ths of yore. Maybe yours! If it is, happy birthday! 

• Birthday frosting all around for: 16th First Lady of the U.S. Mary Todd Lincoln (1818), first African-American player in MLB's American League Larry Doby (1923), entertainer Dick Van Dyke of Mary Poppins and The Dick Van Dyke Show fame (1925), Canadian actor Christopher Plummer of The Sound of Music fame (1929), actor Steve Buscemi (1957), musician & actor Morris Day (1957), entertainer Jamie Foxx (1967), Blink-182 guitarist & singer-songwriter Tom DeLonge (1975), actor James Kyson of Heroes fame (1975), Evanesence singer-songwriter & musician Amy Lee (1981), and cat enthusiast Taylor Swift (1989)

• Pour some cocoa out for: Italian painter, sculptor, and mutant turtle namesake Donatello (d. 1466), English-American labor organizer Samuel Gompers of AFL fame (d. 1924), folk artist Grandma Moses (d. 1961), Canadian singer-songwriter & guitarist Zal Yanovsky of Lovin' Spoonful fame (d. 2002), Canadian actor, songwriter, and television host Alan Thicke of Growing Pains fame (d. 2016)

Now on to the amusing links!

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1. 🩸 Bloody good edutainment!

Introducing a brand new YouTube series from Boredwalk: Women's Rights and Women's Wrongs! A series of mini-documentaries showcasing notable female monsters (both real and fictional), check out our premier episode about Countess Elizabeth Báthory, presented by Tess from the Boredwalk content team!

We have a few more episodes in the works, but for this to become an ongoing series please watch, subscribe to our channel, and share it far & wide with anyone you think would appreciate our humorous historical takes!

For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.

2. 🍎 Apple picking + Cuffing Season: A match made in heaven!

Comedy professionals and orchard owning amateurs Dan Toomey and Mack Hubbell make a compelling case for why apples are the greatest aphrodisiac of them all (at least during the months of September & October).

3. ⛳ The perfect solution to pesky cases of Brad, Blake, or even Brendynn!

Love golf but hate misogyny? Keep those monied alpha males in check with the St. André Crude Collar!

4. 🦇 Goth crafting, but make it glam AF

Calligraphy artist Jessica Cooper does some gorgeous work with foil. Check out the link above to see her process videos, but also visit her Etsy shop to buy some prints if you like her art!

5. 🎙️ Won't someone think of the drywall?!

Boredwalk's alpha female podcast is back, and Tess & Grace make a compelling case against allowing men to watch sports. Just too much emotional fragility!

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OK! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...

Peace, love, and cocoa,

Matt

USE YOUR NOODLE

Happy National App Day! Every proverbial indoor cat's favorite place to distract themselves, Apple's App Store was first unveiled in 2007 alongside the first generation iPhone, the idea of the App Store dates all the way back to 1983 when Apple co-founder Steve Jobs first conceived of a database where software could be purchased over calls. Wild!

Today is also a big day for all the Spaghetti-O fans out there — happy National Noodle Ring Day! If you've noticed a decline in the popularity of noodle rings in recent decades, you're not wrong — appreciation of noodle rings has taken a back seat thanks to the ubiquity of mac & cheese. But today is when you can make a stand for the appeal of the humble noodle ring! If only there were a way to get them delivered to your door...

Phew! Glad the Doctor is on the case.

GIF via Doctor Who / BBC

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PROCRASTINATORS TAKE NOTE: Friday 12/15 is the last day we can ship orders via USPS* and reasonably guarantee** delivery of orders ahead of 12/25 using First Class service. Monday 12/18 is the cutoff for shipping Priority service packages that will likely arrive in time.

While we can still ship after next Monday and those packages may arrive in time, your best bet if you want to order tees or hoodies or towels or messenger bags for gifts is to place those orders RIGHT NOW so we have time to print & ship them later this week.

We have more leeway with our books and Delve Decks that are ordered through next weekend, but please manage your expectations and/or build yourself a flux capacitor and go back in time to place your orders earlier. 

* Please don't reply to this berating us for using USPS instead of FedEx or UPS. They have similar deadlines for more expensive services. 

** Pre-Christmas delivery is not on the list of ACTUAL guarantees that includes Death and Taxes. Gifts don't burst into a pile of dust if they are delivered on 12/26 or 12/29 or any other date. If a later-than-expected delivery "ruins" someone's holiday, they didn't deserve a gift in the first place and Yule Cat would like a word with them.

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Alright! Let's kick off the week with a few famous December 11th birthdays and historical facts:

• In 1816 Indiana became the 19th U.S. state. Happy birthday, Hoosier State!

• In 1901 Guglielmo Marconi transmitted the first transatlantic radio signal, from Cornwall, England to Newfoundland, Canada

• In 1972 Apollo 17 became the sixth and final Apollo mission to land on the Moon

• Birthday noodle rings all around for: Lawyer, politician, and Founding Person George Mason of Bill of Rights fame (1725), French composer & conductor Hector Berlioz (1803), Canadian brewer & businessman John Labatt of Labatt Brewing Company fame (1838), astronomer Annie Jump Cannon (1863), farmer Walter Knott of Knott's Berry Farm fame (1889), cartoonist Marge of Little Lulu fame (1904), blues singer-songwriter Big Mama Thornton (1926), illustrator John Buscema of Marvel Comics fame (1927), multifaceted Puerto Rican entertainer Rita Moreno (1931), jazz pianist McCoy Tyner (1938), actress & comedian Teri Garr of Young Frankenstein, Tootsie, Mr. Mom, and Friends fame (1944), singer-songwriter Brenda Lee of "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" fame (1944), singer-songwriter and bassist Jermaine Jackson of The Jackson 5 (1954), singer-songwriter and bassist Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe (1958), actress & comedian Mo'Nique (1967), rapper & actor Yasiin Bey aka Mos Def (1973), actor & comedian Roy Wood, Jr. (1978), and actor Rider Strong of Boy Meets World fame (1979)

• Pour one out for: Singer-songwriter and soul music legend Sam Cooke (d. 1964), model and pinup icon Bettie Page (d. 2008), and author & vampire enthusiast Anne Rice (d. 2021)

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OK, scroll on down to learn a bit about fellow Boredwalk fan Karen! If you're feeling even moderately outgoing and would like to be featured in an upcoming Monday email (and are a customer with some Boredwalk tees, tanks, hoodies, towels, bags, books, or Delve Decks to show off), just reply to this and let us know and we'll send you some fun questions!

We'll be back here in your inbox on Wednesday with some more random holidays to observe, historical tidbits to acknowledge, and fun links to entertaining content! Until next time...

Peace, love, and ordering snacks without leaving the house,

Matt

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Karen looking more than OK in her Living My Okayest Life tee!

• What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?

I am the President and CEO of a national trade association focused on energy policy. I've come to realize my dream job is to be retired. No matter what job I've chased and gotten, I've hated it within a year or two. I think I just hate working.

(Editor's note: As a co-founder myself this is both reasonable and relatable!)

• What's your biggest pet peeve?

A lack of self-awareness. People who go through life without any consideration as to how their actions (or lack thereof) affect other people.

• What keeps you up at night?

Mostly my job but also how the world, as we knew it, is ending before our very eyes.

• What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?

I really loved Untamed by Glennon Doyle. After a lifetime of trying to be "a good girl," it was refreshing to be encouraged to be my authentic self.

• If you could have any super power what would it be and why?

To be invisible. Having the ability to observe without being seen and causing havoc with no accountability!

• You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?

Clumsiness. No matter what you do, you will always spill something or fall down in front of people.

• If you could make a mundane wish (meaning, a wish for something seemingly inconsequential that you still believe would benefit you immensely), what would it be for?

To not be afraid. Not necessarily to be courageous, but just to stop being afraid of everything so it doesn't hold me back from taking bold action.

• What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?

Seeing the Northern Lights and the Milky Way without light pollution.

• What is something you wish you could go back in time and say to your younger self?

Let your freak flag fly. Everyone else is just as insecure as you are. The misfits are ALWAYS more interesting.

• Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about).

I live in Washington, D.C. Washington (the political hellhole) is not the same as the District of Columbia (a wonderfully vibrant city with awesome people). Looking at you, red states!

• Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?

Personal Twitter: @only1iknowkm

Professional Twitter: @KarenOnaran

Instagram: @karenonaran

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/karen-onaran-energyadvocate

DECEMBER 8th, APPARENTLY!

Happy National Blue Collar Day! Shout out to all those workers who are printing, packing, shipping, building, and otherwise ensuring that civilization continues humming along a-pace!*

* But also please stop mis-routing our packages to Puerto Rico when they're addressed to customers in Savannah, Georgia and similarly continental locales. It would be very cash money of you.🥺

If you're wondering how you can thank the blue collar workers in your life for their service, I have wonderful news — today is also National Brownie Day!

I suppose not EVERY blue collar person likes gooey, fudgy squares of delight titillating their palate, but there's bound to be, like, 99% overlap with that Venn diagram, right?

ALL brownies are special brownies when consumed with the right attitude!

GIF via BuzzFeed

Alternatively, you could get the non-chocoholics in your life some sweet Boredwalk merch instead! Get free U.S. shipping on orders of $75, and save 15% on orders of $95+ with code SAVE15 at checkout!

Even better: if you purchase ANY two Delve Decks you'll automatically save 10% on those as well!

10% off 2+ Delve Decks, plus another 15% off your whole order if it exceeds $95 AND free U.S. shipping? I'm an artist, not a mathematician, but I know a sweet deal when I see it!

*****

While you're waiting for your new Boredwalk goodies to arrive you can also treat your earholes to the latest episode of the Boredwalk Podcast! Click here to listen on your favorite podcasting platform!

My co-founder Meredith and Tess from the Boredwalk content team talk about Tess's recent Lasik procedure, Meredith's least favorite game "Whiny Copyright Infringer Bingo", and customer Tara K.'s love of the cozy scoop neck fleece sweatshirts in her recently purchased mystery bundle!

They also discuss haters in the comments of our social media posts — always a treat!

Tess & Meredith then react to fan responses to the Question of the Day "If you were an ancient god in a pantheon, what would be your sphere of influence?" as well as provide their own! Tess wants dominion over low-key wine nights and cats, and Meredith wants to be the goddess responsible for avenging wronged women. Fitting!

They move on to reveal the early winner in the head-to-head showdown between our two new product releases — Delve Deck: Joy Edition and Delve Deck: Venting Edition. The victor may surprise you!

The episode wraps up with them answering questions from each new deck — "what aspect of getting older do you look forward to most?" from Joy Edition, and "what food do you hate to buy because you know it will go bad before you finish it? Listen to find out their answers!

*****

Alright! Let's send you off into the weekend with some notable events and famous birthdays from December 8ths of yore!

• In 1660 a woman — either Margaret Hughes or Anne Marshall — appeared on an English public stage for the first time, performing the role of Desdemona in a production of Shakespeare's Othello

• In 1980 a nut job murdered John Lennon in New York City. He was only 40 years old

• In 2013 metal icons Metallica played a show in Antarctica, becoming the first band to perform on all seven continents. Next stop: the Moon!

• In 2019 the first confirmed case of COVID-19 was reported out of China

• Birthday brownies all around for: Roman poet Horace (65 BCE), engineer Eli Whitney of cotton gin fame (1765), Mexican painter Diego Rivera of "being Frida Kahlo's arm pizza" fame (1886), cartoonist James Thurber of inscrutable New Yorker cartoon fame (1894), cartoonist and presumed spinach enthusiast E.C. Segar of Popeye the Sailor Man fame (1894), multifaceted entertainer Sammy Davis, Jr. (1925), jazz organist extraordinaire Jimmy Smith (1925; if you have even a passing interest in the Beastie Boys' instrumental excursions of the early 90s, you've heard his work), actor & comedian Flip Wilson (1933), actor David Carradine of Kung Fu and Kill Bill, Vols. I & II fame (1936), singer-songwriter, poet, and erstwhile Lizard King Jim Morrison of The Doors (1943), cult actress & filmmaker Mary Woronov of Silent Night, Bloody Night, Death Race 2000, Rock 'n' Roll High School, Eating Raoul, Night of the Comet, Chopping Mall, and The House of the Devil fame (1943; can you tell I'm a fan?), filmmaker Nancy Meyers of Private Benjamin and Baby Boom fame (1949), actress Kim Basinger of Batman and "Last Dance with Mary Jane" video fame (1953), comedian & actor Sam Kinison of Back to School fame (1953), English singer-songwriter & guitarist Phil Collen of Def Leppard fame (1957), actor Wendell Pierce of The Wire, Suits, and Treme fame (1963), Jamaican-American rapper Bushwick Bill of Geto Boys fame (1966), Irish singer-songwriter Sinéad O'Connor (1966), Baltimore Orioles Hall of Fame pitching ace Mike Mussina (1968), singer-songwriter Corey Taylor of Slipknot and Stone Sour fame (1973), songwriter & guitarist Nick Zinner of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs (1974), German-British actor and second breakfast enthusiast Dominic Monaghan of Lost and LOTR fame (1976), actor Ian Somerhalder of Lost, The Vampire Diaries, and The Rules of Attraction fame (1978), singer-songwriter & pianist Ingrid Michaelson (1979), and Trinidadian-American rapper Nicki Minaj (1982)

• Pour one out for: English singer-songwriter & guitarist John Lennon of "changing popular music forever with The Beatles" fame (d. 1980), country & western singer-songwriter Marty Robbins (d. 1982), English drummer Razzle of Hanoi Rocks fame (d. 1984), Brazilian singer-songwriter, pianist, and "father of Bossa nova" Antônio Carlos Jobim (d. 1994), singer-songwriter & guitarist Dimebag Darrell of Pantera fame (d. 2004), astronaut & US Senator John Glenn (d. 2016), actor René Auberjonois of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine fame (d. 2019), and Jamaican bass player, producer, and all-around reggae legend Robbie Shakespeare (d. 2021)

*****

OK, that's it for this week! We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with another email and a fresh customer Q&A! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email reply to this and let us know!

Peace, love, and brownies,

Matt

It's a good thing we have some links to amusing content down below for you today, because the historical happenings for November 8th are pretty blah.

Even today's random occasions are pretty underwhelming. National Cappuccino Day? Ugh. Be a latte or be gone. National Dunce Day? Look, the genesis of the word "dunce" and the guy it's named for makes for a giggle-worthy read, but let's not give stupidity more of a platform than it already has now that we are firmly planted in the Idiocracy timeline.