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SLIDING INTO THE FIRST WEDNESDAY OF 2021, LET'S TALK NIGHTMARE WASPS! BUT FIRST...
Happy National Cuddle Up Day! Yes, really. Since January has some of the coldest temperatures of the year in the northern hemisphere, I guess it's a natural fit to want to get cozy with family (both human & fuzzy and/or scaly) while we all wait for things to warm up again.
I'm hesitant to bring any more attention to #BeanDad — and if you happened to miss out on that Twitter kerfuffle last weekend, more the better — but today is ALSO National Bean Day! Whether you're a fan of kidney beans in bowl of piping hot chili, black-eyed peas in some freshly made hoppin' john, or unadulterated jelly beans by the fistful for dessert, enjoy!
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Before I get to today's notable birthdays, we have a new thing to share at Boredwalk! I know I don't usually do "sales-y" stuff in these Wednesday emails — the goal remains, as ever, to entertain you with some fun links — but I figured this is something worth sharing!
Ooh! What will be in YOUR bundle!?!
We're now offering clearance-priced mystery sample sets for 50% OFF! Each bundle comes with three mystery tees, tanks, and/or fleece at half their regular price. What a deal!
Please note that the shirts included in these bundles are of the same quality you've come to expect from Boredwalk — they're not damaged or defective or remaindered or anything of the sort. This just helps us clear out excess stock while also passing some sweet savings on to you!
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We have several notable birthdays to celebrate today, so let's get to it!
• First up, happy admittance day to "The Land of Enchantment", the great state of New Mexico! Following the end of the Mexican-American War in 1848, New Mexico was classified as a "territory" from 1850 until this day in 1912, when it was admitted as the 47th state in the Union. Terrifying fact: the state insect of New Mexico is the tarantula hawk wasp! Eek! If the name alone is enough to give you nightmares, just wait — the tarantula hawk is one of the largest parasitoid wasps, and uses its sting to paralyze its prey before dragging it to a brood nest as living food; a single egg is laid on the prey, hatching to a larva which eats the still-living prey. For the land of enchantment, New Mexico's ecology sure is metal AF! Thanks for the Hatch chiles, but please spare us your larvae.
• Next, give a NOT-AT-ALL-ADULTERATED sugar cube to the psychedelic ghost of Pink Floyd guitarist, songwriter, singer, and co-founder Roger Keith "Syd" Barrett, born this day in 1946! Despite his dominant songwriting influence from the band's inception in 1965, the combination of Syd's mental illnesses and his predilection for consuming copious quantities of mind-expanding substances eventually led to his dismissal from the band in 1968. He released two uneven (but occasionally inspired) solo albums before retiring from public life in 1972. Pink Floyd continued to be influenced by their time with him, though, with 1975 album Wish You Were Here's multi-part epic 'Shine On You Crazy Diamond' and their 1979 album The Wall among the homages and tributes the remaining members wrote in Syd's honor even after he was no longer in the band.
• Moving along, a very brainy piece of cake for actor Norman Reedus, born this day in 1969! While Mr. Reedus's breakthrough role was as Murphy MacManus in the film Boondock Saints, his role as the gritty bow-hunting Daryl Dixon on AMC's long-running The Walking Dead series is what made him a horror superstar.
• Next, a yuk-y (but not yucky) slice of cake for actor, comedian, and hilarious Saturday Night Live cast member Kate McKinnon, born this day in 1984! Prior to joining the cast of SNL in 2012, Kate was a member of the cast of Logo TV's The Big Gay Sketch Show for all three of that show's seasons from 2007-2010.
• Finally, a very cool, very erudite cupcake for Arctic Monkeys singer, songwriter, and guitarist Alexander David "Alex" Turner, born this day in 1985! While Arctic Monkeys' 2006 debut album was (and remains) the fastest-selling debut album in British history and 2009 third album Humbug is among my most favorite albums, some of his best pure songwriting work is on the soundtrack EP he released as a solo artist for the 2010 film Submarine. Key tracks: '505', 'Cornerstone', 'Do I Wanna Know?', 'The Dream Synopsis', and 'Stuck On The Puzzle'. His songwriting evokes a mood of ennui with a dash of delightful wordplay.
OK, OK...you've waited long enough. It's link time!
1. In honor of Syd Barrett, here is Pink Floyd's classic tribute to him with a fresh spin!
Musician Luna Lee covers 'Wish You Were Here' on the traditional Korean instrument the gayageum, and it's very cool!
The whole "wearing anything with pineapple print when on a cruise signifies that you're a swinger" thing is news to me, but then I suppose I'm not the target audience. You do you, pineapple peeps! (Or each other, if you're among consenting compatriots.)
Fodor's Travel has compiled a list of bizarre museums across the US, and I am HERE FOR IT. I know that the sensible among us are still at least several months away from this sort of outing, but boy howdy, do I look forward to a visit to the National Mustard Museum in Middleton, Wisconsin!
4. Werewolf arrested in Pakistan.
This story is slightly less hilarious than the headline suggests, but dude — what a headline it is!
5. Finally, Google's workers are unionizing.
The workers of Alphabet, Inc. — parent company to Google and all of its subsidiaries — are joining forces with the Communications Workers of America. Program Manager Micki Anselmo states “This union builds upon years of courageous organizing by Google workers, from fighting the ‘real names’ policy, to opposing Project Maven, to protesting the egregious, multi-million dollar payouts that have been given to executives who’ve committed sexual harassment, we’ve seen first-hand that Alphabet responds when we act collectively. Our new union provides a sustainable structure to ensure that our shared values as Alphabet employees are respected even after the headlines fade.”
Here's hoping this is the first of many steps Google's workers take in being the change they want to see in the world!
LOL! J/K — WE'RE NOT CHANGING ANYTHING!
Happy Wednesday! Technically today is National Resolution Planning Day, but good grief, does that sound dreary and wholly unappealing. To that end, let's all pretend it doesn't exist, shall we?
Yay, consensus!
We have several notable birthdays to celebrate today, and one notorious death day, so let's get to it!
• First up, happy birthday to journalist, poet, short story writer, and novelist Joseph Rudyard Kipling, born this day in 1865! Mr. Kipling's most well-known work is 1894's The Jungle Book, which has been adapted several times in both animated and live action forms, but he was a well-regarded writer throughout his life and remains to date the youngest-ever English-language winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature, which he won at the age of 41.
• Next, give a hot lick (of frosting) to influential guitarist, singer, and songwriter Ellas "Bo Diddley" McDaniel, born this day in 1928! Mr. Diddley played a crucial role in the transition from blues to rock and roll and was a major influence on many artists, from Elvis Presley & Buddy Holly to The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, and The Clash. A hallmark of his performances — including as the opening act on The Clash's 1979 US tour — was the presence of his signature rectangular guitar. Fun fact: He played the role of a Philadelphia pawn shop owner in the 1983 comedy Trading Places.
• Moving along, a very sketch-y birthday to comedian, singer, and actress Tracey Ullman, born this day in 1959! Ms. Ullman got her start in British sketch comedy shows in the early 1980s, but gained fame in the US as the centerpiece of FOX's The Tracey Ullman Show from 1987-1990 (which happened to be America's first introduction to The Simpsons, who were featured in Matt Groening's animated shorts between Tracey's live action sketches). My favorite Tracey Ullman role, though, is that of Sylvia Stickles in John Waters' classic A Dirty Shame.
• On the sporting side of things, let's give four cakes to basketball icon LeBron Raymone James, Sr., born this day in 1984! Mr. James is a 4-time NBA champion, 4-time NBA MVP, and 16-time NBA All-Star, but more than that he's a vocal civil rights activist and has a pretty solid sense of comedic timing, as evidenced by his post-game interviews and his meta-role as himself in 2015 Amy Schumer comedy Trainwreck.
• Finally, a very bizarre death day for Russian royal advisor Grigori Rasputin, who "died" on this day in 1916! I put "died" in quotes because really Mr. Rasputin was done in by a veritable smorgasbord of murder at the hands of Russian political conservatives who reportedly poisoned, shot, and then drowned the notorious Siberian mystic in an effort to halt his increasing influence over Empress Alexandra and the royal family. (Coincidentally in Russian history, it was on this day eight years later in 1922 that Lenin proclaimed the establishment of the USSR.)
OK, OK...you've waited long enough. It's link time!
Could you quibble with the selections for various years? Sure, but you'd be hard pressed to find a more seamless selection than this.
This is one of the funniest things I've seen all week! I just love that the producers at FOX2 Detroit okayed this segment, and I applaud Mr. Kevra for keeping his language clean throughout given how his very real and visceral disdain for stupidity while driving in wintry conditions is juuuuusssstt simmering beneath his humorous veneer. This kid has a future as a comedian, a serial killer, or both.
Internet Shaquille is REALLY into burritos. I thought I loved burritos, but now I know that I only "love" burritos. Internet Shaquille LOVES burritos, no quotes, full stop. Internet Shaquille thinks about burritos the way I imagine helicopter parents think about how they can improve their kid's chances of getting accepted early at an Ivy League school.
Also, "Internet Shaquille" is an amazing handle. No one is coming to "Internet Matt" for his thoughts on burritos, but that Internet Shaquille guy...he sounds like he might know some sh!t.
4. Ever wondered why Chinese food and Judaism go together like baiju & kosher wine (latkes & wontons)?
Some NYC women in the know educate us about the cultural connection between Jewish New Yorkers and their neighborhood Chinese restaurants over the last century.
Maybe more of us need to eat black-eyed peas this year. This year could have been so much different had we all just munched more of these legumes!
A FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US.
(Un)happy Festivus! I hope you've adequately limbered up for the Feats of Strength and have compiled your naughty list for the annual Airing of Grievances. Given the 2020 of it all this year, I imagine we're all packing a fairly extensive list. (I know mine is.)
The only "miracle" is that this miserable year has come to an end...
not that we have high hopes for the next one.
Not many birthdays to honor today — or historical happenings, for that matter — but what we lack in quantity is made up for in quality.
• First up, happy birthday to Madam C.J. Walker (born Sarah Breedlove), who entered this terrible world on this day in 1867! Ms. Walker was recorded in the Guinness Book of World Records as the first female self-made millionaire thanks to the bootstrapped business she founded, the Madam C.J. Walker Manufacturing Company, which developed and marketed a line of cosmetic and hair care products for black women. Ms. Walker was also a patron of the arts and was noted for her political and social activism. She was the first member of her family born into freedom following the Emancipation Proclamation. She's kind of a big deal.
• Next, a sonorous baritone "huuupppy buurrrday" to singer, songwriter, and musical icon Eddie Jerome Vedder (born Edward Louis Severson III), born this day in 1964! Mr. Vedder is the primary songwriter, lead vocalist, and one of the guitarists in the band Pearl Jam. Over the last few decades Pearl Jam has been a little polarizing within the grunge/alternative/rock community, but the run of albums from their 1991 debut Ten through 2002's Riot Act stands as one of the most consistently excellent stretched in the annals of rock & roll history (even if my dad accurately compared Eddie's singing with the sounds a depressed baritone makes while they're battling a severe case of food poisoning in a reverberating bathroom).
• Finally, a very somber and stake-y birthday to the most lost of boys, Corey Haim, born this day in 1971. Mr. Haim was at the forefront of a crop of massively popular child stars in the 1980s. While his breakthrough role was in the titular role of 1986's Lucas, and his best role (in my opinion) was in the previous year's Silver Bullet, an adaptation of Stephen King's werewolf novella The Cycle of the Werewolf, he achieved mega-star status in 1987 when he starred opposite his BFF Corey Feldman in Joel Schumacher's vampire epic The Lost Boys.
OK, OK...you've waited long enough. It's link time!
1. Yule log not cutting it this year? How about a dumpster fire instead?
This is probably the only time in which it will be acceptable to gather the family around a video of a flaming dumpster to close out the preceding year.
Meredith and I have been engaging in some somewhat more...sinister...craft projects for the office as of late, so stay tuned for those in the coming weeks and months!
I am always extremely impressed by artists that can work in three dimensions. They may as well be magicians, as far as I'm concerned.
4. Finally, some good news for coral reefs!
Despite warming events that killed off neighboring coral reefs, this reef off the coasts of Kenya and Tanzania is teeming with life and is a hopeful sign of the future if OUR species can get its act together.
Meredith visibly cringed when she saw some of these selections because of how personal our own experiences with these songs have been over the last few years, but I figured "hey, mi playlist su playlist."
A COCOA-PHONY OF LINKS!
Happy National Chocolate Covered Anything Day! This is normally when I would say something along the lines of "hey, something we can all get behind," but the reality of the matter is that a.) not everyone can enjoy chocolate due to either allergies or having dysfunctional taste buds, and b.) some foods just should not be covered in chocolate. In fact, scratch that — MOST foods should not be covered in chocolate. (I just know some smart aleck is going to reply to this ranting about chocolate-covered bacon or some such nonsense. Please — spare me your cockamamie cocoa concoctions.)
Jim doesn't want your chocolatey tomfoolery, either.
Now, do I have links? Of course I do. But you can't have your links until you've had your cake! We have a LOT of notable birthdays today, so put on your sweatpants...
• Happy birthday to the woman, the myth, the legend...Jane Austen, born this day in 1775! Ms. Austen's use of irony, humor, realism, and commentary on the landed gentry of late 18th century England has long been acclaimed in both critical circles and popular culture.
• Next, с днем рождения to painter and art theorist Wassily Kandinsky, born this day in 1866! Mr. Kandinsky has generally been credited as the pioneer of abstract art and the expressionist movement. Ah, so HE'S to blame...
• Cut a monolith-sized piece for futurist and science fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke, born this day in 1917! Along with Robert Heinlein and Isaac Asimov, Mr. Clarke is informally regarded as one of the "Big Three" sci-fi writers of the 20th century, thanks to his short-form work in periodicals and his Space Odyssey series of novels.
• Today is also the birthday of another science fiction luminary, Philip K. Dick, born this day in 1928! His works dealt with questions of perception, the nature of reality, identity, and human nature. Key films based on his works: Blade Runner, Total Recall, A Scanner Darkly, The Adjustment Bureau, Minority Report, and recent streaming hit The Man In The High Castle.
• Cut a sharp-dressed slice for Moving Sidewalks and ZZ Top guitarist Billy Gibbons, born this day in 1949! Fun fact: the only member of ZZ Top to not rock an actual beard is drummer Frank...wait for it...Beard.
OK, OK...you've waited long enough. It's link time!
1. Artist Daniel Horine reimagines baseball players as superheroes, and I am HERE FOR IT.
Meredith can complain all she wants about my incessant attempts to shoehorn baseball and other sports-related ephemera into these emails, but I think even she would acknowledge that these limited edition comic book-inspired prints are pretty cool...even if she is most definitely NOT a "fanatic of the B-word."
2. Is this classic Sesame Street song parody from 1985 new?
No, it's not. But when it involves "Billy Idle" singing 'Rebel L' about the letter 'L', you could say that it's...vital.
Don't feed them cookies, whatever you do.
Not really, though, because scrolling his site is probably the most edifying thing you can do today (unless your job entails developing a single-dose airborne vaccine for Covid and/or stupidity).
Seriously — this neighbor has WAY too much time on her hands.
Boredwalk Community: Cheez Its in Bed & Cat Pictures
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
Eileen:
Real job: ELA teacher, grade 7
Dream job: Level 4 Biohazard Virologist
Nicole:
Real job: ELA teacher, grade 8
Dream job: Lead singer of an all-girl punk band that actually makes money (and I will sell out to WHOEVER will pay me).
2. What's your biggest pet peeve?
Eileen: People that start with Episode 1 of Star Wars.
Nicole: People who hijack conversations (especially if they started SW with Episode I).
3. What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?
Eileen: Dear Edward by Ann Napolitano
Nicole: I'm gonna be honest — I pretty much only look at cat pictures on the internet currently. Anything by David Sedaris.
4. What's the most useful piece of advice you've ever received?
Eileen: All advice from Nicole.
Nicole: All advice from Eileen. Mostly that we are great and better than most people.
5. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
Eileen: ALASKA!
Nicole: My band playing a big venue packed with people that want to see us play.
6. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
Eileen: The power to make people really listen. Plus flying.
Nicole: The power to make anyone think that I have a cute outfit on even when I don't.
7. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
Eileen: Diarrhea on my command.
Nicole: That their ice cream falls off the top of their cone FOREVER.
8. If you drink: what's your go-to drink? If you don't drink: what's your go-to dessert or snack?
Eileen:
Drink - Pinot Noir
Snacks - Cheez Its (preferably in bed), nacho cheese Combos
Nicole:
Drink - Cucumber voddie on the rocks
Snacks - Buffalo blue cheese Combos, Ruffles sour cream & onion potato chips
9. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about).
BOTH OF US: USE THE COMMA and APOSTROPHE CORRECTLY PLEASE, also stop "quoting" things that "do not" need quotation marks.
Eileen: Polar bears and penguins do not mingle. People think they DO mingle BUT THEY DON'T. Polar bears are arctic. Penguins are antarctic.
Nicole: Teachers do not live in the basement of the school building, and the best holiday gift I ever got from a parent was a gift card from a liquor store in a thank you card that said "thank you for teaching my kid".
10. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
Eileen: Nah
Nicole: Buckle in -
My band, Hot Cousin, can be found on Insta and Facebook.
My dogs: @davidleerothdog and @irasaysshalom.
My creative side: @murderflowerdesigns.
Both of us together: @ThePunktuators.
Nicole speaking here - I've been teaching with Eileen for like 16 years and she truly makes this crazy and incredibly difficult job doable. Without her - I would never have made it this far.
LOOKIN' FOR LOVE IN ALL THE INFERNAL PLACES.
It's Matt! Meredith filled in ably over the last week while I worked on some new art (which will be unveiled in just two days' time), but she's next to me on the couch right now cracking wise on Twitter. So I'm back where I belong: in the driver's seat of Boredwalk emails!
Without further ado, happy National Pastry Day! Whether you plan to celebrate with a croissant, a profiterole, some baklava, an empanada, or a slice of apple pie, treat yo'self!
Before we get to the links, let's all enjoy some cake!
• First up, pip pip cheerio to poet John Milton, born this day in 1608! Milton's best-known work is the epic blank verse poem about the Fall of Man following the temptation of Lucifer in the Garden of Eden, Paradise Lost.
• Next, happy birthday to pioneering computer scientist and US Navy Rear Admiral Grace Hopper, born this day in 1906! Ms. Hopper was the first to devise machine-independent programming languages, and the FLOW-MATIC programming language she invented is still in use today in the form of COBOL. She posthumously received the Presidential Medal of Freedom from Barack Obama in 2016.
• Finally, cut a corner piece for these acclaimed performers of stage and screen: Kirk Douglas (1916), Red Foxx (1922), Dame Judi Dench (1934), and John Malkovich (1953).
OK, OK...you've waited long enough. It's link time!
1. Need a jolt of wholesome wonder? Spend a little time visiting Your Korean Dad!
From what I can glean from his Instagram profile, Nick Cho is a coffee connoisseur by day and a delightfully jovial purveyor of "dad" humor on TikTok by night. This video of him eating bougie grapes is probably my favorite video of his so far.
2. What if I told you that mushrooms can save the world?
OK, now what if I told you that it can do it in a variety of fascinating ways? Would that interest you? It sure interested me! Is this blog post from three years ago? Yes! Does that make its content less relevant or compelling now than it was then? No!
I thought I was OK at marketing. Then stupid handsome Ryan Reynolds comes along and drops this. *sigh*
4. These pets LOVE being dressed up in Christmas costumes. No, really!
Just kidding! They really, really, don't.
I can't quit you, Bill.
Boredwalk Community: "All the Pain Is in the Resistance"
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
My actual day job is school social worker; my dream job has changed over the years — started with rock star, then actor, now it's mattress tester (which I am pretty sure isn't a job for a human).
(Ed. note: it should be!)
2. What's your biggest pet peeve?
Getting behind people slower than me, either in traffic or even walking.
3. What do you do to unwind after a hectic day?
It usually includes loud music of some sort and perhaps a beverage or two.
4. What's the most useful piece of advice you've ever received?
There's been a couple:
• There are no right or wrong choices just actions and consequences.
• All the pain is in the resistance.
5. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
I'd probably want to be Spider-man because, um...why not? (Fair.)
6. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
Flatulence at all the wrong times.
7. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about).
You can be anti-social and a social worker at the same time. (The more you know!)
8. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
On Instagram @kregg123.
THEY'RE BOTH RULERS THAT ULTIMATELY FELL TO HUBRIS
Meredith here! Matt is off working on some cool new art, so I've taken over our Wednesday email.
First up, congrats to Shannon O., winner of our monthly free t-shirt giveaway! That's right — our giveaway isn't just a cynical ploy to extract email addresses from hapless website visitors. Huzzah!
Next up, Happy National Mutt Day! If you've got a mixed breed pooch in your life, be sure to show them a little extra love today. The Boredwalk Crew also wouldn't mind if you shared your favorite pic of said mutt with us *hint hint.*
Today is also the anniversary of Napoleon Bonaparte crowning himself Emperor of the French in 1804 at the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. Napoleon ruled France for around 10 years, expanding the French Empire until ultimately facing defeat and exile.
Last night our cat Oliver declared himself Emperor of All The Damn Pillows in Matt and Meredith's Bed and was summarily deposed and exiled to the couch. That's what flying too close to the sun will get you. A lesson for both French rulers and overly ambitious felines everywhere.
Before we get to the links, let's all enjoy some cake!
• First up, buon compleanno to Italian fashion designer Gianni Versace, born this day in 1946! Thanks to Versace's friendships with celebs such as Madonna, Cher, Tupac Shakur, and Elton John he was one the first designers to link the fashion and music worlds. His bold, sexy designs served as a contrast to the prevailing muted colors and simplicity of the late 1970s. A rival of Giorgio Armani, Gianni once said "Armani dresses the wife, Versace dresses the mistress."
• Next up, happy birthday to pop star Britney Spears, born this day in 1981! Spears is credited with influencing the revival of teen pop in the late 1990s and 2000s and often referred to as the Princess of Pop. She has sold over 100 million records worldwide, making her one the world's best-selling recording artists.
• Finally, birthday nods go to New York's LaGuardia Airport, which opened on this day in 1939, and The United States Environmental Protection Agency, which began operations on this day in 1970 under the Nixon administration. Republican Presidents interested in environmental protection? What a world!
OK, OK...you've waited long enough. It's link time!
1. Best 2020 pastime? Dunking on 2020.
These meme masters have made a hilarious art of comparing our Year of the Devil* to everything awful. Ever wonder what 2020 would be as a scented candle or a roll of toilet paper? Wonder no more!
(*h/t to Boredwalk customer Chloe Condon who keeps referring to 2020 as the Year of the Devil.)
2. Christina Bothwell's surreal glass sculptures explore death and the soul.
Bothwell creates fantastic and strangely compelling figurative sculptures, which range from fascinating to disturbing. She talks about her work here and you can follow her on Instagram here.
Comic Stevie Martin delivers a hilarious and relatable video about the CAPTCHAs that plague our modern existence.
4. Acts of clever and minor vandalism that will make you chuckle.
LOLs at the expense of inanimate objects from toilets to security cameras can be found in this fun collection.
5. In Norway it's Santa vs The Norwegian Postal Service.
In this funny little video promoting Posten Norge, the Norwegians take comedic aim at Santa and American-influenced absurdity.
MONSTER WOLF ROBOT IS ON THE PROWL!
Happy Drinksgiving! Nothing like a little tipple to help gird you for the main event tomorrow. Which, for those of you wildcats throwing caution and CDC guidelines to the wind this week, begs the question: will there be more tackles in your living room amongst family members or on the TV screen during tomorrow's slate of football games? This inquiring mind would like to know! If you're not an imbiber, though, good on you and best of luck!
Today is also the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. I know that typically our Wednesday emails are supposed to be solely the province of fun and/or uplifting info, but I'm not one to a.) argue with calendars or b.) let such an important cause pass by unacknowledged.
Alright! I've got some pretty excellent links lined up for your enjoyment, but first: cake!
• First up, co-là-breith math to Scottish-American industrialist & philanthropist Andrew Carnegie, born this day in 1835! Mr. Carnegie was a pretty complicated dude during his life. He spent it more or less adhering to what has since become referred to as the "Andrew Carnegie Dictum": spend the first third of your life acquiring as much education and knowledge as you can. Spend the next third of your life applying that knowledge practically to amass as much wealth as you can. Then spend the remaining third of your time on Earth giving that money away to worthwhile causes.
His contributions to the expansion of the American steel industry certainly helped move the U.S. into the 20th century, but he also fought bitterly against unionized labor throughout his professional life, notably during the Homestead Strike of 1892 that left ten dead and hundreds more injured. Robber barons can spend as much money as they want during their declining years trying to burnish their legacies; us plebes have the memories of elephants. Thanks for the public libraries, though!
• Next up, a very sober birthday to radical temperance activist Carrie Nation, born this day in 1846! Ms. Nation was not a big fan of alcohol, but she was a big fan of attacking establishments that sold it with a hatchet. It's good to have a hobby, I guess!
• Moving along, cut 56 pieces for New York Yankees baseball legend Joseph Paul "Joltin' Joe" DiMaggio, born this day in 1914! Mr. DiMaggio was a 3-time MVP and 13-time All Star over the course of his playing career — all with the Yankees — and still holds the record for most consecutive games recording a hit (56). He was also briefly married to Marilyn Monroe in 1954, and was immortalized in Simon & Garfunkel's 1968 song 'Mrs. Robinson.'
• Next, feliz cumpleaños to the debonair Ricardo Gonzalo Pedro Montalbán y Meriño, born this day in 1920! Mr. Montalbán played roles across a variety of genres, most notably as Armando in the early 1970s Planet of the Apes film series, Khan Noonien Singh in both the original Star Trek television series and the movie Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, and Mr. Roarke on the television series Fantasy Island. He also worked as a pitch man for Chrysler automobiles in the 70s and 80s, dispensing a seemingly endless number of adjectives in front of the words "Corinthian leather." Rich, soft, supple, fine — we get it, Ricardo; your cowhide is dope.
• Pip pip cheerio to English dramatist and screenwriter Shelagh Delaney, born this day in 1938! Ms. Delaney's defining work was her first play, 1958's A Taste Of Honey, whose kitchen sink realism made it one of the most-performed plays of post-war Britain. Her picture was also used in the cover art for The Smiths' 1987 compilation Louder Than Bombs and their single 'Girlfriend In A Coma' from the same year.
• Finally, happy birthday to Christina Applegate, born this day in 1971! While her breakthrough role as the ditzy Kelly Bundy on Married...With Children may have put her on the map, her star turn on the very underrated late-2000s NBC sitcom Samantha Who? is well worth a gander, as is the classic Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead and the Anchorman franchise. What I really want to find, though, is her 1982 film debut Jaws of Satan, because that really sounds like a delightful feel-good romp!
OK, OK...you've waited long enough. It's link time!
1. Wild bears in your belfry? Better get yourself a monster wolf robot. They're all the rage in Japan.
This is a real thing that is actively happening right now in Japan. An acorn shortage and encroached-upon habitat is leading wild bears into populated suburbs in norther Japan. Japan's response? As with most things, it's to throw a robot at the problem. There's no problem some robotic kaiju can't solve!
2. You're macaque-ing me crazy!
Emilie Barton decided to film her pianist dad Paul putting on a concert for some macaques in an abandoned movie theater in Thailand as part of her home schooling activities, and it's all just super-cute and wholesome. Yay for musical macaques!
3. The Flagler Humane Society in Palm Coast, Florida is crushing it with the creative adoption drives!
In an effort to make the adoption of elderly dogs more appealing, the Flagler Humane Society has been dressing up these lovable pooches as senior citizens, and it's just the best!
This whole video is great, but my favorite part might be Grover referring to the U.N. building as "the un-building." Apparently the denizens of Sesame Street are drunk on Brawndo The Thirst Mutilator.
Torontonian amateur pie artist Helen looks like a pro to me! Om nom nom...
The Best Science Shirts and Science Gifts: The Ultimate Scientist Gift Guide
Are you in the market for the ultimate gifts for scientists in your life? Whether you've got an aspiring STEM professional niece or nephew or a best friend in chemistry or physics we've got the ultimate selection of science gifts for adults, teens, and kids!
What Kind of Science Gifts and T Shirts Do You Have?
The great thing about our selection of science tees and gifts is that we've got an assortment of styles, colors, and sizes, which means we have something for just about every science nerd on your list -- from biology teachers to amateur astronomers.
In addition to science tees, we also carry tank tops and fleece, so we've got you covered for any weather. We carry a range of sizes on our science tees and apparel from small through 3X in many styles.
Most of our science tees are offered in a range of colors, so you'll be able to pick just the right gift for the scientist in your life, right down their favorite color.
This rocker inspired Tesla shirt is a fun choice for the scientist who wants to pay homage to scientific history and look stylish while doing it!
Staff Favorite:
Why Choose Our Science T Shirts and Gifts?
You want to gift good gifts, right? I mean the last thing you want is your friends and relatives feigning a fake smile at gift time and then promptly sending your gift right to the thrift store.
You might be thinking your engineer cousin or science teacher aunt wants another pair of slippers or a fruitcake, but think again! Based on our not particularly scientific research people, we know what your loved ones do not want.
Our science gifts are ideal because they're:
- Unique
- Affordable
- Free to exchange in case you guess wrong about sizing
- Perfect for letting your favorite scientists express themselves in style
Do you have any science gift ideas for kids?
We have a variety of fun science gifts and shirts for kids.
A recent study found parents who effectively convey the importance of science and technology to their kids saw a 12% increase in their kids' ACT scores in math and science. With the job prospects for STEM careers, there's no better time to get the kids in your life excited about science!
We love this Marie Curie Scientist shirt for girls. It's got a rock and roll look and celebrates a female icon in science history.
Considering that 6 in 10 girls say they'd feel more confident pursuing an interest in science and technology if they knew men and women were equally employed in the field, there's no time like the present to introduce the little girl in your life to science icon Marie Curie.
These stylish science tees are available in toddler and youth sizes. We've also got infant bodysuits, because it's never to early to take an interest in science.
We also love this kids science shirt featuring a Kurt Vonnegut quote. It's perfect for getting kids excited about astronomy, engineering, and the world of possibilities that science promises.
Do you have any gifts for scientists in the making? My son/daughter just started college as a science major!
In addition to funny science t shirts, we have some cool dorm decor and bags for toting around campus. Let your favorite science lover celebrate science in style with a new bag, shirt, or notebook.
Our Inter-Dimensional Portals notebook makes the perfect astronomy gift for a student studying physics, engineering, or astronomy. This notebook is deal for taking notes in class.
This Marie Curie quote messenger bag is also great for the busy young scientist on the go. It's made with sturdy cotton canvas and built to last for years. It's also machine washable so coffee spills are no problem!
The bag also features an adjustable shoulder strap for comfortable wear. The side and interior pockets -- 4 in all -- are great for keeping gear organized.
If you think your student would get a kick out of some funny science t shirts, we recommend this Mondays are Pterrible shirt. It's perfect for paleontology students or science nerds. It's a fun wear for a trip to the natural science museum or a biology class.
Do you have any gifts for science nerds who are also into fitness?
Our tank tops are perfect for science nerds who like to work out. Our racerback tanks are perfect for women. For example, this In Science We Trust tank is perfect for an active lifestyle.
It's made with ringspun cotton, so it's comfy and soft, and it comes in an array of colors and sizes.
If your favorite active scientist is a regular gym goer, they might like our duffel bags. This one makes a great scientist gift. It's a cotton canvas bag with an adjustable shoulder strap and a front flap pocket.
My scientist dad loves a good dad joke, got any funny science tees that will make him laugh?
Our funny science shirts are perfect for the nerdy dad who loves a good pun. For the dad who loves astronomy and cats, this funny Fuzz Aldrin astronomy shirt is a great selection.
Do you have any inexpensive gifts for scientists? I'm on a budget!
One of our favorite science gifts for adults is our tote bags! They're perfect for taking the the farmer's market or library and at under $10 they're ideal for a fun affordable science gift.
These inexpensive functional totes are also a great option if you're not sure what size someone wears. They're great for white elephant parties or secret santa gifts.
Do you have any cool science tees for women in STEM?
Some of our favorite funny science shirts celebrate women in science and technology. Our Sirens of Science shirts make a statement about women in STEM with humor and style. Below you'll see the scoop neck version of this shirt. Our scoop neck tops have a slouchy relaxed fit, so they're ideal if you want a shirt with a more generous fit. If you prefer something more form fitting our Sirens of Science shirts come in fitted womens crews and v-necks too!
Best Seller:
If you're looking for something for fall or winter, our scoop neck fleece are both stylish and cozy. We love our rock and roll inspired Marie Curie graphic featured on one of these sweatshirts with leggings and boots!
The National Science Foundation reports that women represent 43 percent of the workforce for engineers and scientists under 75 years old in the U.S. Being a minority in the industry, your favorite female STEM professional will love these fun shirts celebrating women in science and technology.
Do you have any chemistry gifts or chemistry shirts you can recommend?
Some of our favorite chemistry t shirts feature puns that are sure to crack up your favorite chemist. We this science lover shirt is a great gift for scientists of any kind!
For more adult chemistry gifts, this THC molecule messenger bag makes a fun subtle gift for the chemist who likes to party.
What about astronomy gifts or gifts for astronomy lovers?
We have some really cool astronomy shirts. One of our favorites is this one inspired by a Carl Sagan quote:
For the stargazing enthusiast or amateur astronomer, our Look Up and Get Lost shirt is a great gift for celebrating the stars.
What are some of your recommended biology gifts?
You'll win the heart of your favorite biologist with this anatomical diagram shirt:
My friend is a science teacher, but I'm not sure what size she wears, help!
If you want to treat your friend to some science teacher shirts you can make your best guest on sizing and still shop with confidence. We offer free exchanges on US orders, so if you guess wrong on size your friend can exchange for the right size.
If you're looking for other science teacher gifts you might like this bee messenger bag. This durable canvas bag features a chart of several constellations, so it's a fun science teacher gift that's one size fits all:
If you'd like to go with some science teacher shirts, this Save the Bees shirt is a great selection for an environmental science teacher.
If your favorite science teacher has more minimalist taste, these science t shirts are a great choice:
Do you have any physics t shirts or physics gifts?
If you're looking for physics gifts that are one size fits all our minimalist science messenger bag is a nice option. It's available in 3 different colors and designed to last for years, due to it's sturdy cotton canvas fabric.
This bag is a great gift for a physics professor or student who has papers and books they might need to carry around campus.
Boredwalk Community: Thanks, Covid-19!
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
Professional cubicle dweller assessing risks for a local government agency. Dream day job would be oceanographer or photojournalist. Wait, is Nap Queen a real job? (Ed. note: It should be!)
2. What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?
Pretty Things by Janelle Brown. Fiction suspense about a con gone wrong and then some. Especially enjoyed the unexpected twists.
3. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
Jedi mind control for favorable outcomes, obviously. 🙄
4. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
Booger nose when talking to anyone face to face. (Ewwww!)
5. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
Home. All day, every day. Thanks, Covid-19!
A CAT TRANSLATION APP?! I'M LISTENING...
It's Wednesday, which means it's time for some fun links, but before we get to that: Happy...Vichyssoise Day? Look, I like chilled onion-flavored cream as much as the next Francophile, but an entire holiday dedicated to a cold soup?*
*Real talk: I would be all over this if it were Gazpacho Day. *looks up "gazpacho day"* Well well well...guess what we'll be celebrating on December 6th?!
Thankfully today is also Apple Cider Day, which is much more on-brand for mid-November! Served hot or cold, you know what pairs well with apple cider? Bourbon! Use a cinnamon stick as your stirring implement — with OR without the bourbon — and you've got yourself a party!
You know what pairs well with apple cider (or anything else, for that matter)? Birthday cake! Let's have some, shall we?
• First up, happy (maybe) birthday to famed abolitionist and women's rights activist Sojourner Truth, born on approximately this day in 1797! Ms. Truth (born into slavery as Isabella Baumfree in Swartekill, New York) escaped to freedom with her infant daughter in 1826, and after going to court in 1828 to recover her son she became the first black woman to win such a case against a white man. During the Civil War she helped recruit black troops for the Union army, and afterward worked tirelessly (if unsuccessfully) to lobby the federal government for land grants for formerly enslaved people. This became the foundation for the request of "40 acres and a mule".
• Next up, joyeux anniversaire to Louis-Jacques-Mandé Daguerre, born this day in 1789! Mr. Daguerre — Louis to his friends — was the inventor of the "daguerreotype" process of photography, which was the first widely available practical photographic process and was popular in the 1840s and 1850s.
• Moving on, sling a moon pie in the general direction of Rear Admiral Alan Bartlett Shepard, Jr., born this day in 1923! RADM Shepard was an astronaut and became the first American in space in 1961 as a member of the Mercury space flight program and walked on the Moon in 1971 as part of the Apollo program. He was portrayed by actor Scott Glenn in the 1983 film The Right Stuff, which you should check out because it's awesome (or at least it was to me in elementary school).
• Last, but certainly not least, happy birthday to novelist, poet, essayist, and inventor Margaret Atwood, born this day in 1939! Ms. Atwood is perhaps best known for her "speculative fiction" novel The Handmaid's Tale, but she is also the inventor of remote robotic writing tech gadget LongPen, which allows the user to write in ink from around the world via tablet PC and the internet. It allowed her to conduct book tours without needing to travel, and the technology is still in use today. Even though she conceived of the idea in early 2004, it certainly is a device fit for 2020!
• Today is also the birthday of actors Owen Wilson (1968) and Chloë Sevigny (1974), as well as Mickey and Minnie Mouse, who first appeared in the animated short Steamboat Willie on this day in 1928!
Historically, lots of interesting stuff happened on November 18th!
• In 1872, Susan B. Anthony and 14 other suffragettes were arrested for voting illegally in the Presidential election of that year.
• In 1883 at noon, North American railroads switched to a new standard time system for rail operations, which they called Standard Railway Time (SRT). Almost immediately after being implemented, many American cities enacted ordinances, thus resulting in the creation of time “zones.” The four standard time zones adopted were Eastern, Central, Mountain, and Pacific. Though tailored to the railroad companies’ train schedules, the new system was quickly adopted nationwide, forestalling federal intervention in civil time for more than thirty years, until 1918, when daylight saving time was introduced.
• In 1978 in Jonestown, Guyana, Jim Jones led his Peoples Temple to a mass murder–suicide that claimed 918 lives in all, 909 of them in Jonestown itself, including over 270 children. Congressman Leo Ryan was murdered by members of the Peoples Temple hours earlier as he was attempting to leave Guyana following an investigation into claims that people were being held at the Jonestown settlement against their will.
OK, OK...you've waited long enough. It's link time!
Sometimes you've just got to be the yarn monster you were meant to be.
2. Dessert designer Liz Joy makes edible art that looks almost too good to eat.
Almost.
3. Turns out eliminating late-return fines is better for public libraries than charging them. Wild!
At least that has been the experience for Chicago Public Libraries, which saw an 83% increase in long-overdue books being returned once late-return fines were eliminated, along with an increase in usage of libraries in the system from lapsed library patrons.
Three words: switch blade orca.
5. MeowTalk is an app that (allegedly) will allow you to understand the things your cat says to you.
I say "allegedly" because some of the app reviewers were unhappy with the app's performance...but when your options are "zero understanding" versus "some slight, if dubious understanding" I feel like you've got to take what you can get when it comes to a $0.99 download, y'know?
6. BONUS: This is a great listicle of unsung women throughout history!
From computing to aviation to cartography to advances in medicine and science, this is one AMAZING list of humans!